Where I Belong
by WeCouldBeOneLight
Summary: One moment, they're having a grand ol' time in their kitchen and the next, Mickey and Joey are whisked away, against their wills, to a land both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Where? Why, Middle Earth, of course! Now the two have joined the company on journey to Erebor, and it seems Mickey'll be falling in love along the way! Kíli/OC
1. In Which Mickey's Ass Really Hurts

**Disclaimer: I own anything and everything that you _don't _recognize from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien.**

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Prologue:

_"MISH-MISH!"_

I gave a shriek as, suddenly, I was on the floor, and my ass hurt worse than I could ever remember.

I growled when I realized it was Ash calling to me from upstairs and I stood, rubbing my poor, bruised butt as I did, and walked over to the stairs to see Ash at the top.

"What's the dirty look for, Mick?" She frowned.

"I was _meditating_, if you _must know_. And you _completely _threw off my concentration and caused me to land on my freakin' ass!" I snapped.

Ash stared at me for a moment, before she burst into hysterical laughter, leaning on the doorframe for support as she laughed.

"Fuck you! What do you want?" I ground out, my patience with my little sister wearing thin - an abnormal occurrence, but I needed my weekly three hours of meditation unless you wanted me to

"I just came to tell ya that Carrie's done with dinner and Joey's back from the GA meeting." She chuckled.

"What'd she make?" I sighed, making my way up the stairs and wincing with each step as my ass was still in pain.

"Your favorite." I heard Alicia say from the kitchen and as I exited the basement I grinned when I saw what she was eating while she sat next to Tanner and Joey at the counter.

"Spaghetti Bolognese!" I cheered, running over and grabbing the plate Carrie had made for me. Aside from Joey, I obviously had the largest helping.

"Mick have you eaten at all today?" Tanner questioned as I made my way over to sit down at the island.

"No, I haven't. Been meditating to make up for last week's screwed up session and then, of course, Ash had to just _scream _down to me while I was in the midst of my meditations and-"

I was cut off by everyone's laughter. "Shut up!" I whined. "You guys are annoying, you know that?"

Joey grinned that handsome smile that, once upon a time, made every girl in that room fall weak at the knees.

Now it only did so to Alicia.

"You know you love us, Mick." He chuckled as Carrie handed him his plate.

"Eh." I mumbled.

Joey and I had an odd relationship. It'd definitely evolved in many ways over the course of our long lives.

At first, we'd been at each other's throats. He'd been working in the trade of magic for a while, and I was brand new to the craft. He was determined to make fun of me every time I screwed up until my initiation.

Then, when I kicked ass at my initiation, he'd decided that he was determined to find some sort of mess up I'd made in the midst of my initiation and when he did, I ended up slapping him, he ended up pinning me against a wall, and we ended up fucking on Tanner's bedroom floor.

She will never know of this occurrence, are we understood?

After that, we became somewhat close. Much more friendly than before, but the previously mentioned occurrence didn't end up coming around again for a long time.

Over time, we ended up very close.

And by very close, I mean that we fell in love. Something that, although we'd both had multiple partners in our time (me more than him), we'd never truly experience before. It was extremely special, to be quite honest.

After a while, we came to the conclusion that we weren't soulmates after all, like everyone had thought we were. Joey and I decided to remain best friends and things had been that way ever since then.

And then came what we all liked to call "the discovery."

This was the event during which we found out that it was actually Joey and _Alicia _that were soulmates.

Imagine _my _shock.

Which brings us to the present, where we have the engaged couple seated at the wall counter next to Tanner, and Ash, Carrie and I all seated at the island.

Joey and I, were, of course, closer than ever, just not in a romantic or sexual way, which we were both honestly fine with.

I went to take a bite from my spaghetti when Carrie suddenly shouted "_Shit!_"

"Wha- What's going on, why are you freaking out?" I frowned.

"I forgot the parmesean cheese, 'cause I know you like parmesean on your spaghetti, Mick and- Damnit!" She groaned. "I made bolognese 'cause I knew you've had a long week, especially with that demon on Thursday, and- I'm sorry!"

I stared at her.

It was actually like Carrie to freak out like that, but when I saw how geniuinely worried and upset she was, and it made me smile as it hit me that I really do have one of the best friends in the world. Carrie may've been a bitch sometimes, but, overall, she really wasn't that bad and I truly could never ask for a better friend.

So what'd I do? I set my fork down, I stood up and I hugged my best friend, emitting an "Awwwww!" from my sisters and an eye roll from Joey.

"You're the best." I mumbled into her shoulder and Carrie chuckled slightly. "I am, aren't I?"

I rolled my eyes as I let go of her, and proceeded to give her a small punch in the shoulder. "Don't ruin it, Care-Bear."

She made a face at the nickname and I smirked. I then moved over to sit down and take another bite, when I was cut off again.

But this time, it wasn't by a humorous obscenity flying from Carrie's mouth. Or any of my siblings or Joey's mouths either.

It was, instead, the infamously all-to-familiar rush of cold wind that breezed through the kitchen, from the direction of our living room.

"Oh _no_." Ash whispered, I'm assuming upon her seeing my expression go from joyful to murderous.

"What do _they _want?" I growled, throwing my fork back down on my plate, before leading the way into the living room, everyone else following behind me.

Of _course_ there would be four Council members standing in my living room.

_Of fucking course_.

There hoods were up, keeping their faces hidden, as a Council member's face normally was.

"What do you want?" I spat, scowling at the four people before me.

"We have work for you." One hissed.

"Work for who?" Tanner frowned.

"Oh my God, _Mickey!_" Ash squeaked. I spun around to look at her. "What? What?!"

"YOU'RE SEE THROUGH!" She shouted.

I blinked. "Excuse-" I cut myself off upon looking down to see that I was, in fact, translucent.

"What the-"

"_Joey is too!_" Came Alicia's shriek and I spun around to see Joey in a similar sitation to me.

"What's happening?!" Carrie shouted. If looks could kill, the four Council members before us would've been six feet under several hundred years previous. As well as the rest of the Council, I suppose.

"We have work for them." The same Council member as before hissed once again.

I turned to look at my sisters. "Listen to Carrie and be careful! We'll be back, alright?!"

"Mickey don't talk to us like that, we're adults! And we'll get you out of wherever you're going alright?" Tanner promised.

I looked my little sister in the eyes and went to hug her, as I knew I could trust her with the task of figuring out how to get Joey and I home from wherever the Council was sending us, against our wills.

I moved to hug her, only to go through her as if I was a ghost.

"Mickey!" Tanner squeaked.

I turned to see Alicia looking utterly heartbroken as Joey and I faded more and more. Their wedding was meant to be in less than a month. We were almost finished with planning.

"We'll get you back!" Ash promised.

"You'd better!" That was the last thing I was able to say before everything was black.

Trust me, by then, my bruised ass was the last thing on my mind.

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**Yes, yes, yes, don't hate me, I'm starting another story, blah, blah, blah, all of the usual business.**

**So, I went to see The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, yesterday. It reminded me of how much I really loved Kíli when I'd seen An Unexpected Journey in the theaters last year. Another occurrence from yesterday, was when my parents decided to let me know, after a freakin' _year, _that we actually _owned_ An Unexpected Journey and _have_ since it came out on DVD.**

**I was very angry, in case you're wondering.**

**And thus, this story was born.**

**Where I Belong, like my other fics (Lightning, I Found You, A Thousand Years, and Do You Believe In Magic?), features my lovely characters: The Parson family and others, such as Mario the Italian chef (who will not be in this one), Joey the Guardian Angel, and Carrie, the best friend.**

**This one in particular features Mickey and Joey. It'll focus on the journey to Erebor and how Mickey and Kíli manage to fall in love along the way (which will be odd for Mickey as she's always envisioned a different character of Tolkien's creation as her personal favorite), as well as Joey's coping with not being with Alicia as he'd really like to be, and Mickey and Joey's relationship as a whole.**

**If you like the Parson family (specifically Mickey) and would like to see them featured in other fics of mine, they're listed below, with which of Parsons they feature.**

**Do You Believe In Magic? - Twilight - currently on hiatus, but features all of the sisters, with occasional appearances from Joey, Carrie and co.**

**A Thousand years - Charmed - A Chris/OC story, featuring Mickey with very few appearances from her family and friends.**

**I Found You - Supernatural - Featuring Mickey and Ash and is the first of a series of Supernatural fics featuring the sisters.**

**Lightning - Harry Potter - Featuring Mickey and Carrie, Lightning is a Marauder Era fic.**

**Alrighty then. I'll be on my way and I'll probably have the next chapter of this one up before I go to bed.**

**CAN ANY OF YOU BELIEVE THAT CHRISTMAS IS IN LESS THAN THIRTY SIX HOURS BECAUSE I CAN'T. I REALLY REALLY CAN'T.**

**Can I get any reviews on this one?**

**Adios, amigos! :3 Love for you all! xx**


	2. In Which Mickey and Joey Meet Bilbo

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien**

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Chapter One:

I groaned, rolling over as I realized I was on a dirt road.

"Why am I on a road?" I mumbled, sitting up.

I ached all over. Most prominently of all: my ass.

The memories of what'd happened rushed back to me. Meditating. Ash screaming. Spaghetti bolognese. Carrie the best friend. The Council. Fading away. Darkness.

Wait...

_The spaghetti bolognese!_

I let out a loud groan at the thought of it.

I hadn't eaten in well over 24 hours. I was starving. I could eat a horse and still have room for more.

Probably for six more horses, if I'm honest.

I had a large appetite.

A large _stomach_.

It was _great _when I was trying to get sloshed.

I could win contest after contest and take shot after shot until I'd drained the nearest bar of all the alcohol in its stores, and I'd still be up and running.

Okay, that's a lie.

But I could still stomach a Hell of a lot of alcohol before I would end up on the floor and in need of Tanner or Joey to snap or materialize me home (in order of person and their respective way of teleportation).

My thoughts were brought to Joey, suddenly.

He'd been fading too!

Maybe he was somewhere nearby...

Speaking of location, where was I?

I looked around. The place looked oddly familiar. However, I knew I'd never been there before.

"Joey?!" I called. Maybe, if he was somewhere nearby, he'd know where we were.

"Mickey?"

My prayers were answered. I spun around and, with a delighted squeak, I pounced on my best friend, throwing my arms around his neck. I felt him wrap his around my waist and hug me back. "What's going on?" I asked as we pulled apart.

"I have no idea, Mick."

"Do you know where we are?" I questioned.

He looked around then, obviously having not been able to get a good look around. Hey, there's a little hut over there, we could-" He cut off suddenly and I turned to look at where he'd been looking.

The little hut he'd mentioned looked like...

Well...

It looked like a Hobbit hole.

From the Lord of the Rings movies.

"I- Well- I- Oh my... _Seraphina bless it_..." I mumbled, staring at the Hobbit hole in confusion and shock. "What're we in New Zealand or something?"

"I wouldn't say New Zealand, Mick. I'd say the Shire." Joey stated as he started to move towards the Hobbit hole.

"What're you do- Joey we're not in _the Shire! _That's preposterous!"

"Look at you, Mickey, using big words like 'preposterous' and such..." Joey mumbled, his tone showing he wasn't completely paying attention as he made his way over to the Hobbit hole. I watched as he pushed the gate open and began to make his way up the path.

"_Joey! _What are you _doing?!_"

"Don't you wanna see if this is actually the Shire? If we knock, we'll see if a Hobbit answers!"

"And what happens when a Hobbit _does _answer?"

"Then that means we're not in New Zealand. It means we're in the _Shire_. And that means that the Council sent us to Middle Earth."

I froze then at the thought of the Council sending us to Middle Earth.

I'd always wanted to see Middle Earth. To explore the large realm and see places such as the Misty Mountains and Minas Tirith.

If we were truly in Middle Earth, I didn't care what anyone would be thinking. I intended on dragging Joey's ass down to Imaldris and taking a look around because, not only were the Elves an incredibly fascinating people, but I wanted to see if the films did it justice. In the films alone, Imaldris and Lothlorien looked beautiful. If this was _real life, _I could only imagine how beautiful they would be.

Plus, ya know who I'd really like to meet?

That Legolas Greenleaf- Serapina, drag me to Hell for I have sinned. Or, rather, _will _have sinned...

Orlando Bloom, man. _Orlando Bloom_. _**Blonde Orlando Bloom**_.

That is all I have to say.

Then another thought hit me.

_Why did the Council send Joey and I to Middle Earth?_

One of the things I hate about the Council (on the very long list of things I hate about the Council) is the fact that when they want you to do something, they will not explain it, they will not give you a choice. You are to do what the Council wants you to do.

_**And that's it**_.

For the less knowledgable, the Council is a group of 24 people. 12 of these people are basically some of the most powerful _good beings _to exist. The other 12 are some of the most powerful _evil beings _to exist.

That way there is equality and balance among the world or some shit like that.

They annoy the fuck out of me.

I hate them.

They're a bunch of dicks.

That need to die.

Not send Joey and I to fictional dimensions.

I was pulled out of my thoughts of the Council upon Joey loudly knocking on the door of the Hobbit hole.

"Joey, don't bang on it!"

"What am I supposed to do, Mick? Lightly tap-"

I squeaked then, cutting him off. Why had I squeaked? Well, because there was a weird, glowing symbol on the bottom right "corner" (the door was circular, give me a break) of the door.

"What's that?" I questioned, pointing to it.

"It looks like the symbol from-"

Joey was cut off when the door opened.

Which actually scared the fuck out of me.

Especially when I realized that it looked like Martin Freeman in Bilbo Baggins form.

I let out a short scream and jumped probably about three feet in the air.

"Oh my _God, _I didn't think anyone was going to answer!" I gasped.

Martin Freeman- Or, rather, Bilbo Baggins, looked slightly startled, which led Joey to apologize for my mini-freak out moment and then grab my arm so I would stand still.

"Can I help you?" He asked, looking extremely confused as to why we were on his doorstep.

"You wouldn't, um, happen to know where we are, would you?" Joey questioned.

I looked at him.

We _knew _where we were.

If this was truly Bilbo Baggins, before us, then we were on the doorstep of Bag End, in Hobbiton, in the Shire.

So why would he bother asking?

Bilbo still looked extremely confused at this. "Hobbiton..." He replied. "Uhm, where else would you be, may I ask?"

I nodded slowly at this. "Thought so... Uh, well I'm Mickey and this is Joey and, well, we basically woke up on the road right in front of your lovely home, just over there." I pointed to the gate. "With no recollection of how we got here or any idea of why we would be here in the first place."

He looked a bit shock at this. "W-Well, why, uhm... Come in, come in." He moved aside to allow Joey and I inside.

That's when another thought hit me.

In any normal case, Joey would be 6'1" and probably feeling the need to bend over inside this little Hobbit home. I'd probably be bending slightly as well, even if I wasn't as tall as him, at my own 5'7", but as of now, that was not the case.

We were Bilbo's height.

We fit _just fine_.

Joey was approximately half a foot taller than me, as normal...

But he was still short.

As was I.

We were Hobbit size.

If not a bit taller.

I looked down at my feet.

I didn't have Hobbit feet...

Why the fuck did I shrink two to three feet?!

"You don't know how you ended up on the road?" Bilbo questioned. "I'm, uh, Bilbo Baggins, by the way."

"Pleasure." Joey stated as I nodded once and gave Bilbo a small smile.

"And no, we don't." I added on.

That was when I smelled something.

_Fish_.

Oooooh, I loved fish. Sometimes.

Depended on the fish.

Upon smelling the fish, which was _cooked_ fish, in case you're wondering, my stomach growled.

Loudly.

Joey snorted upon hearing it and I scowled at him before I looked at Bilbo. "I, uh, apologize. I haven't had much to eat in a while."

"Oh, well, come this way, I've made a bit extra." He stated with a weak smile, motioning for Joey and I to follow him.

We followed him through the cozy little home, which I really liked - quite the difference from our large home in Los Angeles - to the kitchen, where there was a plate of food on the table, and some extra food on the counter.

"Oh, you don't have to give us anything..." I trailed off, blinking as I realized we had basically knocked on Bilbo Baggins' door, and then been awkwardly invited into his home and now he was offering us food, regardless of whether he knew who we were or not.

He may've been adamant about not going on that adventure with Gandalf and the dwarves in the beginning of The Hobbit, but apparently he could still be a kind soul if he wished.

This made me smile slightly.

"No, no, I insist." He said, placing food on two more plates and then handing them to Joey and I.

"Thank you." Joey stated and I smiled gratefully. I needed food. Food was priority. Screw figuring out why Joey and I were currently standing in the kitchen of Bag End. I needed _food_.

We sat down at the table upon Bilbo motioning to two extra chairs and I moved to cut a piece of the fish on my plate.

Once I had a good sized piece on my fork, I went to take a bite when, suddenly the doorbell rang.

I blinked, looking at Joey, who was in the same position as I was, his fork only inches away from his mouth.

With a light sigh, Bilbo stood. "Excuse me a moment."

Being the curious Witch I was, I grabbed my plate and followed him towards the door and then Joey did the same.

I stood a few feet behind Bilbo as he opened the door and blinked when I saw who stood on the other side.

"Dwalin, at your service." He stated, giving a small bow to, specifically Bilbo, and then a nod to Joey and I.

"Oh my God." I whispered, eyes wide.

We were in the beginning of The Hobbit.

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**Sorry! It's really short and I wish it was longer, but it's not .**

**Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! And to those who don't actually celebrate Christmas, Happy Holidays in general :)**

**I feel icky about this chapter, which is bad considering it's the first one, but I just feel as though it's a bit choppy and confusing and I'm not sure I like how I just had Bilbo invite them in and give them food, I'm not sure I'm a fan.**

**But just remember: With the dwarves, they invited _themselves _in and provided _themselves _with Bilbo's food, which I'd like to think is slightly different from the situation between Bilbo, Joey and Mickey, as they literally woke up on the road outside of his home, with no idea of what was going on.**

**The second chapter will definitely be up today, as I feel like I'm on a roll with this one and I've planned out the beginning, at least, pretty well, with several ideas as to what I'm going to do at other points in the story.**

**I'd like to just remind you of one thing, though, because I've seen this in other fics.**

**In the beginning of Desolation of Smaug, it shows the words "12 Months Later" at the bottom of the screen. This means that the journey they've been on has lasted just under a year, as the scene previous to the 12 Months Later is of Gandalf convincing Thorin to go and reclaim Erebor. (hopefully you've all seen it. If not, I don't think I gave that much away, but I apologize if you dislike that I put this year.)**

**This means that the journey from Bilbo's home to where they end up when Thorin is fighting the Pale Orc at the end of the movie, doesn't necessarily last a week. It lasts almost a year.**

**Therefore, I will have chapters that will revolve around nothing more than the group just walking along, probably bonding moments between Mickey and Joey, or Mickey and Bilbo or Joey and Gandalf or _Mickey and Kíli, wink wink, nudge nudge (I had an exceptionally funny slash really good idea earlier about Mickey and Kíli and I do intend on utilizing it as, not only will it be humorous for Joey and probably all of you readers out there, but it'll give a bit of insight as to... Well... I'll let you guys wait and see ;D)_.**

**And one last thing I'd like to say about Mickey and Joey, as you guys may not know this, or it may not make direct sense (this applies to the Parsons and Carrie as well): _They ar__e_****_ magical_****.****Joey is the Parson family Guardian Angel, and Mickey is the head of the Parson coven, AKA they're a coven of Witches. More will be explained later, but understand now, they're not normal people. Hence "The Council" and all the other things.**

**Alright, I'd like to get on writing chapter two, as that's where Kíli is coming in (I'm such a spaz, oh my gosh, I was just rewatching the scene where Fíli and Kíli make their entrance and I literally fell into a small fit of giggles when Kíli said "That's a relief" and then smiled- Okay, I nearly died dON'T JUDGE ME), and I definitely plan on making him and Mickey have a slightly interesting relationship from the start (hopefully).**

**Until next time :3**

**Review, please? Feedback feeds my soul, and reviews are a marvelous Christmas present!**


	3. In Which Mickey Almost Melts

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien: It's not mine.**

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Chapter Two:

I stared as Bilbo tried to stutter out a response to Dwalin's short introduction.

We were actually in _The Hobbit_.

Holy shit...

I exchanged a look with Joey, who looked as shocked as I was.

Wrapping up his robe, Bilbo stated "Bilbo Baggins, at yours. Uh, d-do we know each other?"

Dwalin made his way in, then and gave him an odd look. "No." He then made his way towards the kitchen. "Which way, laddie? Is it down here?"

"Is what down where?" Bilbo questioned as Dwalin removed his coat.

"Supper." Dwalin replied, tossing it at him and looking at him as if the answer were obvious. "He said there'd be food, and lots of it."

"He- He said? Who said?"

Dwalin didn't reply.

Bilbo closed the door and set the dwarf's coat down, before making his way after Dwalin.

Joey and I followed.

Upon seeing Dwalin seated where Bilbo had originally been sitting, eating Bilbo's dinner, I realized that I still had mine in hand, thank _God_, and decided I'd eat the bit of fish that I had on my fork.

And I will tell you right now: Nothing had ever tasted more heavenly in my life. It wasn't actually because Bilbo was a fantastic chef, although I will commend his cooking skills, but more because I hadn't had anything to eat in well over 24 hours.

Through a mouthful of fish, Dwalin spoke. "Very good, this. Any more?"

This is what really prompted Joey and I to really start at our own dinners, because I didn't feel like having a dwarf steal my food and I have a feeling Joey didn't either.

I watched as Bilbo stood, looking slightly confused, before he nodded. "What? Oh, yes, yes... Ah." He made his way over to a small countertop by the window, grabbing a plate of rolls. I raised my eyebrows somewhat amusedly as he took one from the top when Dwalin wasn't looking, hid it behind his back and then handed the plate to the dwarf. "Help yourself."

Dwalin started on the rolls, while Joey and I continued to rapidly work at our own plates. I managed to lean over and steal a roll while Dwalin looked in a different direction to see if there was any more food lingering around the kitchen.

Joey shot me a look and I smirked in reply. "You're sharing, right?" He mouthed and I shook my head rapidly, my eyes narrowing at the thought of him taking my food.

Nuh uh, bitch. Nobody gets my food. You've known me long enough to know that, Joseph Edwards.

"Hmm. It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company." Bilbo continued, which confused me as to why he'd had extra food for Joey and I.

Then I remembered that Hobbits actually had somewhat large appetites.

Maybe not as large as my own appetite, but still large, nonetheless.

Therefore, he must've made extra food with the thought in mind that he'd still be hungry.

The doorbell rang again, and my head shot towards the entryway, then back to look at Bilbo and Dwalin.

"That'll be the door." Dwalin stated, looking up at Bilbo.

"Bilbo, I'll get it, if you like." I offered, motioning to the door.

"No, no, it's quite alright, I'll get it." He nodded once.

I still proceeded to follow him to the door again.

Because if Dwalin had just arrived, then that mean that...

We reached the door and Bilbo opened it, only to confirm my suspicions as a dwarf with white hair and a white beard smiled upon seeing us and introduced himself with a bow. "Balin, at your service."

"Good evening..." Bilbo stated after a moment.

"Yes, yes it is." Balin nodded as he made his way in, still smiling. "Although I think it might rain later. Am I late?" He asked.

"Late for what?" Bilbo inquired. I took another bite from my plate as he spoke and then looked down only to realize that I truly didn't have much left.

His question was ignored as Balin suddenly realized that Dwalin was in the kitchen. The two brothers exchanged greetings, which included Dwalin commenting on Balin's height and weight, and then the two knocking heads.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joey subconciously reach up and rub his own forehead, a pained expression across his face.

Bilbo shut the door and then continued on to try and explain to the two that he had no idea who they were or why they were there or anything similar to that. Meanwhile, the two dwarves decided they'd make their way into Bilbo's pantry and when I saw just how stocked with food it was.

My stomach growled loudly again and Joey laughed. "Jeez, Mickey, finish what you have first!"

I shoved him before I went to place my plate in the kitchen, having nothing but the previously mentioned roll left.

I started to work on that, then, because I decided I planned on raiding the pantry.

Apologies, Bilbo, but I was starving.

I jumped out of the way when, suddenly, Dwalin tossed a lump of moldy cheese out of the cupboard and Bilbo continued to explain the issue of them being there. He finished with an "I'm sorry" which caused Balin and Dwalin to pause for a moment, looking at him.

"Apology accepted." Balin stated with a nod, before they turned back to the food.

The doorbell rang again.

"Who's next?" I whispered to Joey, who shrugged, taking the last bite from his plate. "Why don't you go see." He suggested.

I nodded once and followed Bilbo towards the door, curiousity peaking again.

"Who is it now?" I questioned as Bilbo opened the door to reveal two more dwarves.

Two extremely good looking dwarves.

I suddenly regreted shoving half of the roll in my mouth, as I probably looked extremely unnattractive.

I swallowed the remains of the roll, quickly wiping across my mouth and praying there had been no crumbs there in the first place because _Seraphina knows _I hate looking like a fool in front of attractive people (ask Joey), as the two dwarves spoke.

"Fíli." The blonde introduced himself.

"And Kíli." The darker haired introduced.

In unison, they stated "At your service." while bowing. Upon returning to an upright position, Kíli spoke again. "You must be Mr Boggins."

I snorted in a very unladylike way at the mispronunciation of Bilbo's name, but my smile was wiped away when Bilbo moved to not let the two in. "Nope! You can't come in! You've come to the wrong house!" He insisted, moving to close the door.

I almost stopped him, because I wanted to insist that he let the two very good looking dwarves in (specifically Kíli- I mean what?), but the two of them stopped him before I could.

_"What?_" They sounded shocked as they stopped the door from closing.

"Has it been cancelled?" Kíli questioned as they shoved it back open.

"No one told us." Fíli frowned.

"Ca- No, nothing's been cancelled." Bilbo shook his head, looking quite confused.

"Well that's a relief." The cute smile returned to Kíli's face as the two pushed their way in. Kíli moved to look around, before he stopped by me, the smile never leaving. "I don't think we've met."

I smiled back as I tried to pull together a reply. "I, uh, hi. I'm Mickey." For some weird reason, I ended up holding my left hand out to shake and, instead of him doing the same, he actually grasped said left hand of mine in his and brought it up to his lips.

I nearly melted.

Like, _legitimately melted_.

I wanted to.

Oooh, so bad.

I wanted to melt.

But I couldn't.

Because Joey would never let me live it down.

And then he'd tell Carrie and my sisters.

And then _they'd _never let me live it down.

It was weird because I was usually the one absolutely brimming with confidence around men.

But apparently my confidence had decided to fade out momentarily upon Kíli's offering of a warm smile and his pressing his lips to the back of my left hand.

_I'm never washing this hand again_.

That was literally the first thought that ran through my mind.

And then I began to pray that nobody could read minds, because if anyone could, they would probably be extremely disturbed to see the beautifully explicit sexual scenarios that ran through my mind, all featuring the gorgeous dwarf before me.

I mean... What?

"Kíli." He repeated his name again as he brought my hand away from his lips.

I tried not to giggle.

I swear, I did.

And then I thanked the Heavens when I was successful.

I probably just had an idiotic smile instead.

"Pleasure." I stated as my hand fell back to my side.

I swear he winked as he walked away.

_I swear._

I rushed into the dining room to see Dwalin, Joey and Balin discussing how they were going to move the table into the hall. It was then that Dwalin noticed that Fíli and Kíli were there, and moved out to bring them into the dining room as well.

"Joey! He winked at me." I whispered, feeling the desperate need to tell him. Or, at least tell _someone _and, as it turned out, Joey was the only accessible person at the time.

"Who win- Mickey, _no_." His expression turned serious when he saw Kíli being led into the room by Dwalin. "You will _not _fall in love with a fictional character, nor will you considering _screwing _a fictional character- I just- You- _No_."

With that, he moved to assist the dwarves with the use of his Guardian Angel-y strength, in moving the table into the hallway.

I would've helped, but I freeze time. I don't have super strength or telekinesis. That's Joey and Alicia, respectively (Tanner and I have started to call them the "Dream Team").

The doorbell rang again, and Bilbo moved to answer it, shouting the whole way, while I just snuck into the pantry again, and started grabbing food and shoving it in my mouth.

Again, I was _starving_.

"Mickey that is the most unnattractive thing I've ever seen." Joey said from behind me, leading me to elbow him in the gut. Upon hearing the "_Ooomph!_" I smiled victoriously and continued to eat. Well, I would've continued, but he dragged me out of the pantry. "Stop eating like a Raveling, and let everyone set the table, you slob."

I stared at him.

He did _not _just compare me to a _Raveling_.

Ravelings were little weird-ass creatures with crazy appetites. Crazier than mine or all of the dwarves in the room combined.

Plus, they were ugly-ass little sons of bitches who really needed to go extinct. They would randomly appear in your cabinets and hide in the shadows of said cabinet so you'd never find them.

Most people don't know they have a Raveling infestation. It's quite the annoyance, because one always thinks that someone else in the house is eating all the food, and never takes into account that it's a Raveling nest.

"You did not-"

"Yes I did, now help set the table. You don't see _them _eating straight out of the cabinet, do you?"

Well, they had been earlier...

"Joey! When did you process manners?"

He shoved me with a smirk, and then proceeded to help bring food out to the table. I sighed heavily, before doing the same.

It wasn't long before there were eight more dwarves making their way around, as well as the one and only Gandalf the Grey.

Joey nearly keeled over upon seeing the great Wizard.

Or, as Gandalf would've been regarded in our dimension, the great Warlock.

Where Joey and I were from, Wizards were considered to be uninitiated magical males, while initiated magical males were referred to as Warlocks. It was the same for females, except I was a Witch and an uninitiated magical female was a Wiccan. (I'm initiated, therefore, I am a Witch.)

People began carrying in food and chairs and drinks all to the table as others began to take their seats. I'd already picked my spot, it being a bit far from the front head of the table, and only two seats away from the back head of the table.

I immediately settled in my spot once everyone else began settling in their own. I looked up to see Joey starting to make his way towards me, failing, and then making his way to the other side of the table, sitting directly across from me. "This is more chaotic than Guardian Angel meetings..." Joey mumbled, low enough that only I, with my blessed hearing, could hear him over the chatter of the twelve Dwarves, one Hobbit and great Wizard.

I snorted to myself as I remembered one of the times Tanner and I had snapped into a Guardian Angel meeting to get Joey, as it was an emergency, only to see the place in complete and utter chaos.

The meeting itself was meant to be about halfway over by that point in time, but, as it turned out, they'd never even started.

"Are you sitting in my spot?" A voice pulled me out of my memory and I looked up to see, of course, Kíli standing with a smirk across his (beautiful) face.

I blinked. "No I'm not. I called this spot when we pulled the table out!" I frowned, looking around to see if I'd mistakenly gone to the wrong place.

No. I hadn't. I'd gone to the right one.

"Only joking." He chuckled upon seeing my slightly confused and slightly panicked state, before he slid past me to the seat next to mine, leaving only one between him and where Bombur, the large dwarf with the bright ginger beard that braided around into a circle, sat at the head of the table. That seat was soon taken by Ori, whom, I believe, was the third youngest dwarf in the room, Fíli and Kíli being the two youngest overall.

Physically speaking, Joey and I were the youngest in the room, but theoretically, mentally and technically speaking, we were probably the oldest, aside from Gandalf.

I was unsure of Balin or any of the other dwarves ages, but I didn't have too many doubts as to any of them being younger than 400.

(I was 427 and Joey was 476, at the time.)

After doing mental calculations (because I'm a nerd and I've actually researched things such as the ages of the dwarves in this company before), I remembered that Thorin was actually the oldest dwarf in the company, and he was 195.

Aside from Gandalf, who's age I could not tell you, Joey and I were the oldest there.

I swallowed uneasily at that thought.

Soon, everyone exempt Bilbo was at the table, everyone reaching around all over the place for whatever they could find that they wanted.

Fíli ended up climbing over all of the food to offer up ales to all those who didn't have them. Of course, I was the only one who _didn't _have one (yes, Joey had one), so when all the dwarves plus Joey raised their ales and then began to basically chug them down, I stole whatever food I could from the table, being as quiet as a mouse, which I was actually considerably good at.

I blame the blessed hearing.

And by _blame _the blessed hearing, I mean I _thank _the blessed hearing.

I managed to take my seat once more before anyone set their drink down, so nobody actually noticed any difference, exempt Joey who saw that I had more on my plate than previous. I simply winked at him.

I think he was going to smile, but his smile was interrupted by a loud belch, which caused me to snort and almost fall off of my chair in a fit of laughter.

Which started what was basically a mini belching contest, with Ori definitely taking the prize.

"Anyone goin' against _that_?" Fíli laughed.

"Mickey will." Joey smirked.

And then all eyes were on me. Some were skeptical, some were amused, and others looked shocked that I was there, as, apparently, they hadn't noticed me previously.

"Fuck you, Joey." I mumbled, before snatching his mug and chugging down the rest of what he had, which was surprisingly a lot. He must not've drank as much as it looked like.

I was treated to second place, my own belch being quite beautiful, but Ori's still taking first prize overall.

There were cheers and the like for me as I belched, but, somehow, Joey's hysterical, obnoxious laughter floated over all of the other dwarves voices. Which was a considerable task if you take into account the fact that there was _one Joey_, and _twelve dwarves._

Everyone continued to feast after this quick contest, which was really just awesome because nobody cared if I stuffed my face, something I had desperately wanted to do for some time now considering how hungry I'd become over the past almost 48 hours if you really added it all together.

I forget how many times I piled my plate until it was overflowing.

I just know that, at some point, Joey had to actually rip food out of my hands and say "Mickey, don't you dare, I'm in too good of a mood for you to kill it by dying. So don't you fucking dare."

I ended up throwing a piece of pineapple at him, and then continuing to feast.

And then, soon, people began to clean up, with Bilbo going around scolding people as everyone did so.

As the dwarves began to clean up, Joey motioned for me to follow him out and so, with a great deal of difficulty, we managed to escape the overcrowded room, and get into the hallway.

"What's up?" I asked with a grin. Joey rolled his eyes and smiled. "You're an idiot."

"How am I an idiot?" I stared at him, utterly confused. What the fuck did he mean I was an idiot? He was the idiot!

JOEY'S AN IDIOT! JOEY'S AN IDIOT! JOEY'S AN IDIOT!

I don't even know, so don't ask.

"You just _are_, Mick. There's really no need to _explain _it. Now then, you've had your feast and you're stuffed so much you're bursting at the seams. Now that that's settled, we've gotta figure out what's going on and why we're here."

I frowned. Why was it so important?

_Probably because there's always a reason and this reason could very well be life changing or life threatening._

Ahhhh shut up.

Joey and I began to have a mini argument about whether we should talk to Gandalf and see if he knew anything, but we were interrupted when Bilbo and Gandalf suddenly entered, Bilbo ranting and Gandalf looking thoroughly amused.

Bilbo was then cut off when Ori came in.

Can I just say, Ori is the absolute cutest thing I've ever seen.

_Seriously_.

I mean...

_Seriously. He's so friggin' adorable!_

I never said that.

Just so you know.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" He questioned, looking at Bilbo.

I raised my eyebrows when Fíli walked in then and said "Here you go, Ori, give it to me."

He then proceeded to throw it towards Kíli, who'd just exited the kitchen behind Gandalf. Gandalf jumped out of the way, and, with a perfect reaction time, Kíli caught it and threw it back into the kitchen with ease, where, apparently, Bifur was beginning to wash the dishes.

More were tossed from the dining area to Fíli, who would pass to Kíli, who would throw them to Bifur.

I felt the largest grin grow on my face as I watched them do this.

Of course, Bilbo was freaking out about how it was his mother's West Farthing pottery and all, but nobody really paid him any attention.

Then some of the dwarves in the dining area began screwing around with the knives and forks, banging out beats on the table and, well, blunting the knives is what it looked like.

"Can you not do that?! You'll blunt them!" Bilbo stated.

"Oooh, do you hear that lads?" Bofur chuckled teasingly. "He says we'll blunt the knives!"

What happened next caused me to almost fall over when I realized what was going on.

They were _singing_.

I liked these dwarves.

"_Blunt the knives, bend the forks!_  
_Smash the bottles and burn the corks!_  
_Chip the glasses and crack the plates,_  
_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

No, seriously, I really liked the dwarves.

_"Cut the cloth, tread on the fat!_  
_Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!_  
_Pour the milk on the pantry floor,_  
_Splash the wine on every door!_

_Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!_  
_Pound them up with a thumping pole!_  
_When you're finished, if they are whole,_  
_Send them down the hall to roll!"_

Joey and I shared a grin, knowing what was coming next. We made our way into the kitchen along with the other dwarves as Bifur set the last bowl down on the stack of neatly cleaned plates.

Bilbo shoved his way in, just as everyone finished the song, Joey and I joining in on the last line.

"_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

Everyone laughed and cheered while Bilbo stared, shocked at the scene before him.

It was quite the amusing sight.

I, myself, was cracking up.

"Mick, I told you already! You can't ruin my good mood by dying! Don't. Do. It." Joey chuckled when he saw me clutching my stomach as I laughed.

I only laughed harder, ultimately falling over when a loud pounding on the door scared the living daylights out of me.

At the same instance that I shouted _"Seraphina bless it!"_ quite loudly upon being scared and falling over, I was caught in a pair of arms, mid-fall.

Expecting to see Joey, I looked up and was somewhat shocked when I saw Kíli, grinning down at me with his pipe between his teeth. He helped me stand up before he spoke. "Alright, Mickey?" He asked.

I smiled back. "I, uh, yeah... Thanks, Kíli."

His grin grew, before quickly fading as we both realized everyone was heading towards the door to see who it was.

Although everyone knew.

And any doubts were proven false as Gandalf opened the door to reveal Thorin Oakenshield.

* * *

**TECHNOLOGY SUCKS**

**I am so sorry. I promised I'd have this up on Tuesday, and then my brother monopolized me and I was unable to finish the chapter, and then I finished it yesterday, but for the entirety of yesterday, the internet decided to not work and I couldn't pull up the site I'M SORRY!**

**Well, I realized I've been making these notes really long, so I'll try and keep this one short. Chapter Three will also be up tonight, because I'd planned on putting it up today, and I don't feel like NOT putting it up today.**

**On that note: What'd ya think of the chapter? Mickey met Kíli! ;D**

**Let me know what ya thought in your reviews :3**


	4. In Which We See Joey's Point of View

**Disclaimer: If it is recognizable from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, it's not mine.**

* * *

Chapter Three:

"Gandalf."

I blinked at how deep his voice was.

It was deeper than in the movies, what the fuck.

"I thought you said this place would be easy to find." Thorin stated as he made his way in. "I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."

And, of course, upon hearing the news that there was a mark on the door, Bilbo had a seizure.

Don't get me wrong, I love the little guy. He's great.

It's just...

He's so uptight in the beginning...

I pitied him, of course. Having all of this thrust on him against his will (although there _was _some part of him that longed for adventure, this I was sure of), with the chaos of just having the twelve- now thirteen dwarves in his house, PLUS Gandalf, Joey and I.

"Mark? There's no mark on the door. It was painted a week ago!"

"There is a mark. I put it there myself." Gandalf informed the Hobbit. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield."

Thorin began analyzing Bilbo.

Oh dear.

God help the poor Hobbit.

"So... This is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

Bilbo blinked, turning to look at Thorin in confusion as the dwarf basically circled him.

"Pardon me?"

"Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?"

Joey and I shared a look and, as quietly as possible, which was extremely quiet as we'd had over 400 years to practice being quiet, we chorused "My hands," _('tis a joke from one magical being to another, don't be dirty you disgusting people) _and then shared a wink and a smirk before turning back to the exchange between Thorin and Bilbo, having missed one sentance from Bilbo about conkers.

Oh dear.

"Thought as much." Thorin stated as he crossed his arms. Then, more to the dwarves behind him than Bilbo himself, he said "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

The everyone aside from Bilbo chuckled and yes, that included myself and Joey.

Again, even though I pitied the poor Hobbit, it's still okay to have a sense of humor.

Everyone piled into the dining area again. I moved to go and sit by Kíli again, because I happened to like sitting by Kíli, but Joey dragged me to the other side and we sat down. Joey was directly across from Kíli and I was directly across from Fíli who offered me a charming smile.

_Good lord._

I aimed a kick at Joey's ankle whilst everyone was still sitting down. When I found my mark, Joey squeaked like a little puppy and I grinned victoriously.

Once everyone was settled in, Thorin was given food, and everyone else was provided with more ale. This time I was included in those who were given ale, thank God.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin questioned as everyone fell silent.

"Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." Thorin confirmed.

Most of the dwarves made some sort of side comment or laughed or something, before falling silent again as Dwalin spoke.

"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?"

"They will not come." Was Thorin's reply. Murmurs and groans were heard before Thorin spoke yet again. "They say this quest is ours and ours alone."

I glanced around from my leaned back position in my chair, before looking up at Thorin again. I feel as though he had yet to notice that Joey and I were there. Either that, or he had noticed, and didn't plan on acknowledging the fact that he'd noticed.

"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo cut in.

It was silent for a moment. _Awkwardly _silent. Said awkward silence was cut into by Gandalf, who spoke to the Hobbit. "Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Bilbo hummed and went to retrieve more candles. Meanwhile, Gandalf pulled out a map. "Far to the east, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

"The Lonely Mountain." Bilbo read out from the map.

"Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Gloin stated.

Oin continued from where Gloin left off. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold. 'When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end'." He quoted.

Bilbo cut in again. "Uh, what beast?"

Joey leaned forward, then. As did I. Although we already knew what was going on, for the most part, we were still curious to see what the dwarves around us had to say.

If you knew Joey and I, you knew we were always up for an adventure.

"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible," Bofur explained. "Chiefest and greatest calamity of our age... Airborne fire-breather... Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks... Extremely fond of precious metals."

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo frowned.

Ori jumped up suddenly, which caused me to emit a teensy squeak, as he was sitting just to my left. "I'm not afraid. I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!"

This, of course, made me smile.

"Good lad, Ori!" Nori shouted, while other dwarves spoke words of agreement as well and Dori made Ori sit down.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just 13." Balin brought silence upon the room again and I looked at Joey, frowning slightly.

_We'd be left out. Excuuuuuuuse you._

"S'a reference to all the dwarves. In case you haven't noticed, he didn't mention Gandalf or Bilbo either." He whispered, low enough that I'd be the only one to hear him. "Besides, it's not like we're a part of this."

"And not 13 of the best..." Balin continued. "Nor brightest."

People began to argue and murmur about Balin's comment, obviously upset, but Fíli silenced the room as he slammed his hand down on the table and spoke. "We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!"

Kíli continued where his older brother left off. "And you forget, we have a Wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time!"

_Can I just say: He had the cutest little excited smile when he said this- okay, I'm gonna stop now, before y'all make fun of me... I'M SORRY I CAN'T HELP THE FACT THAT KÍLI MAKES ME FEEL ALL MUSHY INSIDE!_

People began to turn towards Gandalf as he spoke. "Oh, well, no. I wouldn't say-"

"How many then?" Dori cut him off.

"What?" Gandalf looked somewhat shocked at the question.

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" Dori repeated.

Everyone looked to him for an answer, as Gandalf coughed slightly, smoke emitting from his mouth due to the recent inhale he'd taken from his pipe.

"Go on. Give us a number!"

That's when everyone suddenly jumped up and began to argue.

I blinked, looking around as everyone shouted and argued. Well shit.

"You killed a dragon once, didn't you?" Joey questioned, looking at me.

I stared at him.

Excuuuuuse me?

He saw my confused expression and elaborated. "Your initiation."

I nodded slowly as I processed this, before I rapidly shook my head, denying the claim. "I didn't kill it. _It _almost killed _me_. I will forever hate the Council for deciding that _my _initiation would involve fighting a dragon rather than something simple like Carrie's. For crying out loud, Carrie's was a game of friggin' chess-" I was cut off when, suddenly, Thorin stood and shouted something I couldn't catch, but was obviously in Dwarvish.

Everyone immediately sat back down and I turned to Joey again, muttering in his ear "Just _look _at that _crowd control_. I _like _this guy."

Joey shot me a look and I grinned back.

"If we have read these signs," Thorin spoke in English or, rather, "Common" as it was referred to here, once again. "If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon, Smaug, has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?!"

Everyone cheered and I turned to Joey again. "Again, bro, I _like _this guy. He's pretty fuckin' inspirational."

Joey rolled his eyes and turned to focus on Balin, who spoke next. "You forget, the Front Gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf stated and then, suddenly, he held a cool looking key in his hand.

"Where the fuck did he get that?!" I whispered to Joey, who snorted into his ale while he took a swig.

Luckily, everyone was too focused on the key and Gandalf to notice.

"I'm serious, though." I continued in the same tone. "He didn't reach into his pocket or anything! I would've seen!"

Joey rolled his eyes and set his mug down, turning to look up to the head of the table.

"How came you by this?" Thorin asked in a hushed tone, obviously shocked that Gandalf had it. "It was given to me by your father. By Thrain. For safekeeping." The Wizard explained. "It is _yours _now."

Gandalf handed Thorin the key, before Fíli spoke next. "If there is a key, there must be a door..." He looked to Gandalf for a reply. Pointing to the map before him with his pipe, the Wizard explained. "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the Lower Halls."

A smile grew on Kíli's face as he spoke. "There's another way in."

_yES IT WAS A CUTE SMILE - GET OFF MY BACK - GEESH!_

"Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf sighed. Well that wiped the smile right off Kíli's face. "There answer lies somewhere hidden in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it." The Wizard continued. "But, there are others in Middle Earth who can.

"The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage." He glanced at Bilbo before continuing. "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar." Ori stated as it clicked. "Hmm. And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine." Bilbo stated, causing everyone to look at him.

"And are you?" Gloin questioned, leaning in.

Bilbo glanced behind him to see if there was someone else there, before he spoke. "Am I what?"

"He said he's an expert, hey!" Oin said happily, having misheard what the Hobbit said.

"Me? No, no, no, no, I'm not a burglar! I've never stolen a thing in my life!"

"Maybe you should do it, Jo-Jo." I poked Joey in the side as I whispered to him. "I bet the dragon'd like a nice Guardian Angel snack if ya failed. I've heard you guys taste pretty good. Plus I'd have you off my ass."

"And Alicia on it for sending me in there." He muttered back with a smirk. I winced slightly at the thought of Alicia, first, mourning the loss of Joey (as we all would), but then she'd be on me for life because I'd been the one to send Joey in.

Either that, or she'd be in permanent mourning which, to my knowledge, is actually what truly happens when you lose your soulmate.

"Permanent mourning" as in _daily torture _for your soul, as you live with the fact that your soulmate is dead.

Been told it's a painful experience to witness, which can only make me imagine what it truly feels like.

And I really don't want to _know _what it feels like.

Then again, I'm convinced that I'll be forced to roam the earth forever, never finding my soulmate as I'm actually of the firm belief that I don't have one.

Enough with the heavy. Let's get back to my _ever _so _interesting _tale.

"Well I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr Baggins." Balin pulled me out of my thoughts. "He's hardly burglar material."

Although I probably would've gotten defensive and let my pride get in the way if this'd been said about me, as I'm actually quite skilled in the art of stealing - a skill I'm neither proud of nor upset that I have - Bilbo straight on agreed with the dwarf. "Nope."

"Aye, the Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin agreed as well.

I coughed then.

Although, to some, it may've sounded like I said "Joey" through said cough.

I would forever deny this fact.

As well as forever be angry at Joey for whacking me on the back of the head when honestly I didn't do anything other than _cough _for _crying out loud!_

_Or did I?_

Murmurs and comments came from the dwarves then, Kíli being one of those to defend Bilbo, saying "He's just fine!"

_Yes. I did pay attention to what Kíli had to say. Don't judge me._

The murmurs and comments soon turned to a full on argument, which ended quickly when Gandalf intervened.

And let me tell you now, when Gandalf intervened, it was _scary _as _fuck_.

Darkness clouded throughout the room as the Wizard stood and spoke in a tone that boomed throughout the entirety of Bilbo's home.

"Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!"

"_Holy shit._" I whispered to Joey, who shot me another look.

He did that a lot.

_Maybe it's because a lot of out line comments seem to make their way out of your mouth_.

Naaahhh, that can't be it...

The darkness faded away, and Gandalf's voice stopped echoing, but he remained standing as he spoke. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose. And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage." He sat down before continuing. "You asked me to find the 16th member of this company and I have chosen Mr Baggins."

I blinked, looking around and doing a headcount.

Not including Gandalf, Joey and myself, there was a total of _fourteen_. Not sixteen.

So why had he said sixteen?

Gandalf pulled me out of my thoughts as he continued to speak. "There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know."

There was a quiet "Including himself," added on at the end, but I'm sure that, since I was the only person in the room with above average hearing, I was the only one that heard it. "You must trust me on this." The Wizard continued as Thorin gave him an unsure look. The dwarf king was silent for a moment, before he said "Very well. We will do it your way." Bilbo's protests were ignored as Thorin turned to Balin. "Give him the contract."

Balin stood, leaning over to hand the contract to Bilbo. "It's the the usual. Out of pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."

Thorin took the paper from him and thrust it against Bilbo's chest as the Hobbit stuttered. "Funeral arrangements?"

Bilbo stepped out as he unraveled the large contract, letting out an exasperated and worried sigh.

"And what of them?" Thorin's voice rang out again and I looked up from my mug of ale to see Thorin looking at Joey and I.

"Who- Wha- Us?" Joey looked a tad shocked, while I suddenly felt excitement flood through my veins.

_HE __**HAD **__ACKNOWLEDGED US!_

"What of us?" I questioned in reply, leading Joey to smack my arm. "Mickey, God damnit where are your manners?!"

"They flew out the window when I woke up on a street in the freakin' Shire, with no idea what the fuck the Council wants with me or why the Hell we're in Middle Earth." I stated before I turned to look at Thorin again. "Again, I'll ask, what of us? Because, bein' quite honest here, I'll gladly join in on this little adventure, I mean-"

"Mickey!"

I ignored Joey. "Before I hear any protests about how I'm of the more feminine sex, I know how to fight with virtually anything you give me, from a sword to a toothpick-"

"Mickey, will you-"

"And this wouldn't be the first dragon I've gone up against. Granted, the first one and only other one I've gone up against nearly killed me, but I still made it out alive and I think that's a pretty badass accomplishment but-"

"Mickey, please, just-"

"Joey, shut up, I'm talking. It's rude to interrupt people." I shoved him, causing him almost fall out of his chair, before I glanced back up at Thorin and Gandalf. Thorin, like many other people in the room, looked skeptical, while Gandalf looked amused.

"Thorin, Mickey is an extremely powerful being, as well as Joey being a highly gifted individual." Gandalf explained, on our behalf, causing Joey's jaw to drop to the floor and my eyebrows to shoot into the stratosphere. "They are the two I mentioned that, alongside Bilbo, will complete your company of 16."

"Wait, wait, wait." I frowned. "You knew we were coming?"

Gandalf gave a knowing smile. "I did. It was I who negotiated with the Council on bringing the two of you here."

I stared at him.

_Gandalf the motherfucking Grey _went to the Council and asked for _Joey and I's _help?

I leaned back as I took this in. The Dwarves surrounding us looked somewhat confused on what we meant by the Council and things such as this, but that wasn't my main concern. It only took me a moment to soak everything in, before I leaned forward against the table and nodded again. "Okay then. Seriously, though. Where do I sign because-"

"_Mickey!"_

"Joey, will you _please _shut your _goddamn _trap and let me _speak_?!"

This received amused chuckles from several of the dwarves, Kíli included.

Joey stared at me.

And he still spoke.

"Mickey are you sure-"

"Screw it." I shoved him again, before standing straight up, my chair pushing into the shelf behind me, as Joey fell to the floor between his and Bombur's chairs from the force of my shove. "Look, I said it before and I'll say it again. I will _gladly _join this quest and if someone wants me to fuckin' prove myself, then I will. You heard Gandalf." The next part I spoke was directed towards, not only Thorin, but Joey as well. "Joey and I are meant to be here, and we are who Gandalf intended to add into your company to make it a nice even 16."

It was silent, exempt Bilbo's nervous mumbling from the hall as he read over the contract.

"You'll both sign by the Hobbit." Thorin stated, cutting into the silence and I grinned victoriously.

Hell yeah, bitch.

Mickey's going on an adventure.

And Joey's gonna be her little bi-

I mean _sidekic-_

I mean _partner in crime_.

_**Wink wink.**_

_**In a totally not sexual way.**_

-Joey POV-

I let out a heavy sigh as I stood up from the floor and followed Mickey as the two of us squeezed behind the chairs (a very difficult task) and over to where Bilbo stood, reading the contract.

Standing on either side of him, Mickey on his left and me on his right, we read over his shoulder. I read along to Bilbo's muttering.

"'Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-sixteenth of total profit, if any.' Hmm. Seems fair. 'Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to... Lacerations.'"

I raised my eyebrows.

Lacerations.

Great.

Mickey looked amused upon seeing Bilbo's reaction to the word being there.

Then he read on.

"...evisceration..."

Oh shit.

Are you kidding me.

Fucking.

Mickey what the _Hell _did you get us into?!

_You know you want in on this as bad as she does!_

No I don't!

_Yes you do!_

Okay, so maybe I did. I was just worried about getting home safe to Alicia, that's all. As well as making sure that Mickey makes it home as well.

_And doesn't get it on with anyone while you're there._

Exactly.

"...Incineration?!"

Fucking Hell.

"Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." Bofur confirmed.

Bilbo looked sick, I didn't know how to feel and Mickey got this almost excited smile.

How could she be so excited about this?!

_Joey where the Hell is your adventurous spirit?!_

"You alright, laddie?" Balin questioned upon seeing Bilbo's sickened expression.

"Huh? Yeah." Bilbo replied, leaning over to set his hands on his knees. Mickey carefully snatched the contract out of his hand and continued to read on, the excited smile never leaving her face.

If I didn't know better, I'd think she was utterly insane.

"Feel a bit faint." Bilbo added on.

"Think furnace with wings." Bofur continued. The Hobbit's only reply was "I need air." But this didn't stop Bofur from continuing. "Flash of light, searing pain, then _poof_. You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

That was Bilbo's breaking point.

He stood for a moment, silent, before he said "Nope." and downright fainted on the floor.

"I am in need of a writing utensil." Mickey stated, looking up from the oddly shaped contract and taking no notice whatsoever of the fact that Bilbo had fainted.

"Oh, very helpful, Bofur. Joey, if you'd be so kind as to take Bilbo into the next room and set him on a chair?" Gandalf requested.

I blinked, before nodding slowly and picking up the Hobbit, carrying him into the next room, as told. When I returned the hall by the dining area, Mickey was leaning against the wall, quil coated in ink in her hand, while she scrawled her signature across a third of the space at the bottom of the contract, leaving enough room for Bilbo and I to sign should we choose, but also taking up as much space as she possibly could.

"Done." She thrust the contract and quil into my hands before wandering into a different room. _"Where the Hell did I... AH, THERE IT IS!"_

I stared down at the contract in my hands, which I'd only read part of. Meanwhile, Mickey'd read the whole thing (I hope) and signed it.

And if Mickey signed it, that meant I had to sign it. I couldn't just let her go on her own.

With a heavy sigh, I did as she'd done before, leaning against the wall and pressing the quil into the paper, signing my name. Although, I didn't take up as much space as she did, therefore leaving Bilbo a good amount of space.

I handed the contract to Balin with the words "'Til he wakes up and decides, I suppose." And then turned to go and find Mickey before she destroyed anything.

Okay, so I suppose I shouldn't put it like that. Because, in all honesty, Mickey was an amazing, brave, not entirely destructive person. She just had this sense of longing for adventure that always got her, as well as her sisters, Carrie and I, into a shit load of trouble.

My thoughts then turned to the quest that was now ahead of us.

Mickey and I were going to be traveling alongside 13 dwarves, a Hobbit and a Wizard, all of us on our way to Erebor, to help said dwarves reclaim The Lonely Mountain from a terrifying dragon named Smaug.

Good grief.

Was I excited about it? Hell yeah. Of course I was. The chance to travel alongside the characters created by a genius such as J.R.R. Tolkien was too good of an opportunity bypass.

The problem? Well, how about the fact that there is a large chance that we could _die_.

And if we died here, there was no Ash, Tanner, Carrie or Alicia to fight with the Council or find a spell/potion/whatever that could do something to bring us back.

We'd be gone. Permanently.

(In case you're confused, dying and then _staying dead _has always been a bit of an issue within this family. Let's just put it that way.)

I glanced back at the dwarves in the dining area.

Then over to the hallway where Gandalf was now conversing with the quickly awakened Bilbo. He must've woken up pretty soon after I set him down. Then to the entryway for the living room, where I knew Mickey currently was, even if I couldn't see it.

And then, I thought of Alicia. I thought of Alicia, and Ash, and Carrie and Tanner. Hell, I even thought of Mario.

If Mickey and I made it out of this alive, I'd get to go back and see them. I'd get to see Alicia again. I'd get to _be with her _again.

But only if Mickey and I made it out of this alive. So that became my goal. To survive. And to make sure Mickey survives. And, on the way, I'd enjoy this quest as best as one could enjoy such a quest. That was my goal.

I sighed heavily, entering the living room. Upon seeing that Mickey was simply seated on Bilbo's couch, staring into the fire, I went and sat in a small, technically decorative chair against the wall, across the room from her. Not that I particularly cared if it was decorative or not. And I really could've sat in any of the more comfortable looking places around the room, but I didn't.

I just sat in the decorative chair and leaned against the wall. There was nothing wrong with it. At least, I didn't think so.

Looking over at Mickey, I let out another sigh. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad adventure after all.

-Mickey POV-

I smirked at Joey from across the room.

"What's that look for?" He asked with a smirk of his own. The dwarves began to slowly trinkle into the room, starting with Kíli, Fíli and Bofur. Bofur took the armchair across from the couch I sat on, Fíli leaned on the wall by the fireplace, and Kíli took a seat next to me.

"What's what look for?" I felt my smirk grow as I spoke.

"Mickey just tell me why you're smirking." He rolled his eyes. Bofur, Fíli and Kíli all looked interested as to why I was smirking.

I cleared my throat before speaking, my smirk never fading. "'Mickey is an extremely powerful being.'"

Fíli, Kíli and Bofur started to laugh while Joey rolled his eyes. "If I recall correct, I believe he called me a 'highly gifted individual', so shut the Hell up."

The three dwarves look to me for a response and I leaned back into the couch, before I held out my left hand. "'Extremely powerful being.'" I said. Then I held out my right hand, equaling it with my left. "'Highly gifted individual.'" I began to move them up and down in opposite directions, pretending to basically weigh the two.

Then, to prove my point, I dropped my left hand down and pushed my right hand up, creating a massive gap between the two.

I grinned when I gained the desired effect, and Fíli, Kíli and Bofur began to laugh again, while Joey scowled.

"Whatever, Mickey."

"You love me, Joey."

"Sure."

I smirked.

He _did_ love me. And he knew it, too.

I mean, seriously. I'm impossible _not _to love.

* * *

**Did you enjoy the chapter? :3**

**I liked this one.**

**We got to see inside Joey's head!**

**Chapter four SHOULD be up tomorrow, although I shall not make a million promises as, if you've read my past stories, you know I can be pretty shit at updated. However, I'm extremely motivated to write this one.**

**I'll make this note short too.**

**Did you like the chapter?**

**Let me know in your review, yo**

**Much love!**

**PS: YOUR REVIEWS MAKE ME SMILE (props to HidingBehindTheCamera because she made me really smile after my friends had pissed me off a bit ago :3)**

**PPS: Can y'all suggest me some Kíli fics bc I´m having an issue with finding them. Serious or humorous, doesn't really matter cos I like both so :P**


	5. In Which Mickey Is Underestimated

**Disclaimer: I own nothing aside from the things that you _don't _recognize from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien.**

* * *

Chapter Four:

It wasn't long before the dwarves had all gathered in the living room. Things had gone quiet as more and more filed in, until everyone exempt Gandalf, who was in the other room and Bilbo, who'd gone to his own room, was in there.

It was almost silent. The only audible thing, really, was everyone's breathing (remember: blessed hearing, in other words, everything is enhanced).

Until one dwarf, whom I could never determine for you as it was really random and I wasn't paying that much attention, started to hum. Others joined in soon after and, eventually, Thorin actually began to sing.

That guy is a _bass_.

He has a freakin' _deep voice._

Have I stated this before?

Well...

_**THORIN HAS AN EXTREMELY DEEP VOICE.**_

It's actually pretty cool...

So was the humming and the singing thing.

"_Far over the misty mountains cold,_  
_To dungeons deep, and caverns old,_  
_We must away, 'ere break of day,_  
_To find our long-forgotten gold."_

A lot of the dwarves began to rise, but I didn't. I think I was too lost in just attempting to imagine the story they were telling through the song.

_"The pines were roaring on the height_  
_The winds were moaning in the night_  
_The fire was red, it flaming spread_  
_The trees like torches blazed with light..."_

-Third Person POV-

Kíli looked over at Mickey as his kin sang and/or hummed the song he'd been familiar with since his childhood.

Like himself, she was silent as she stared across the room into the flames of the fire. He could tell, just looking at her, that wherever her mind might've been then, it certainly wasn't with her in their current situation.

She was an interesting person. One of the first things he'd noticed about her was, quite honestly, how utterly beautiful she was. It was part of what had stopped him when the two first introduced themselves to each other when he and Fili had arrived.

She was captivating. What'd really entranced him was the smile that'd spread upon her face when he and his brother had first knocked on Bilbo's door.

Then they'd all proceeded to supper, she and her friend Joey joining them. She'd been sitting in the spot next to his own, and upon seeing this, decided he'd just mess with her a little bit. The look on her face had been priceless.

As he enjoyed supper alongside the rest of his kin, he'd also kept an eye on her and her behavior throughout this supper was exceedingly different than anyone of the more feminine sex he'd ever witnessed before. She was more graceful, more beautiful than a female dwarf, although she was nowhere close to the grace and beauty of elves (not that he'd ever admit elves were a beautiful race). Nor was she the height to be an elf. She was the same height as he, maybe two or three inches shorter. She wasn't a Hobbit, that was for sure. But she wasn't human either. She couldn't have been.

So what was she?

She was _interesting_. So very _interesting _and it puzzled him to no end.

Supper had ended and they'd been cleaning up. He'd seen the delighted smile spread across her face as she laughed alongside her friend while he and his kin cleaned up what mess they'd created, singing as they did so and ultimately shocking Bilbo in the end. _That _had been fun.

Mickey'd fallen over in the kitchen due to the loud knock heard at the door once they'd finished cleaning. It probably scared the Hell out of her, as unexpected as it was. However, he'd caught her, and couldn't help but smile upon seeing the sheepish expression on her face when she'd realized he'd caught her.

That was when the door was opened to reveal his Uncle. Thorin Oakenshield. There was in immediate change in the atmosphere and although everyone had noticed it, nobody had voiced it.

Everyone had settled back into the dining area again, whilst Thorin was given food. He'd watched as Mickey paid attention to what his Uncle said and how, at some points, she'd poke Joey in the side, smile and say something too quietly for him to hear, but he was sure was amusing from the looks Joey would give her.

And then Thorin had addressed them and, to the shock of everyone, he was sure, Mickey'd stood up and posed every reason as to why she and Joey should be accepted on their quest. Which confused him. Why was she so interested? Why did she feel the need to help them? Why had Gandalf summoned them as he said he had?

What was their purpose there? Not that Kíli minded their prescense. He just wanted to know why Gandalf had summoned them. He wanted to know why Mickey was adamant that she and Joey help them reclaim Erebor.

Why was she?

He looked over at her again as she gazed into the flames. The song was coming to a close. But he wasn't paying attention to that. He was paying attention to Mickey. He was trying to figure her out. Kíli had never been very good at reading people. Which just made the situation that much more difficult. He wanted to know why Mickey wanted to help them. Why did she feel the need to partake in this when she had to very well know that there was a chance she would die?

_Why_?

There was one more question that was plauging him as well.

Smaug wouldn't be the first dragon Mickey had ever faced?

_What?_

It was then that Kíli decided that he'd make it his personal mission to figure out Mickey Parson and exactly who and what she was, and what her _reasoning _for helping them was.

Because she'd captured his interest in a way no other had before - a feat that no female had yet done and he was sure no female would ever do.

**-Page-Break-**

-Mickey POV-

Dawn came fast. It was then that we'd decided we'd leave. I ended up being the one to wake Joey up, which is a feat that many have been unable to accomplish. And then I had to be the one who dragged very-heavy-and-ever-so-cranky-and-in-need-of-coffee-Joey out of the door and down the road to where the ponies were all settled.

At first, I was delighted to see that there were sixteen. There were enough!

Thirteen dwarves, plus Gandalf, plus Joey, plus me, equaled sixteen. There was exactly enough.

Then I realized something.

They were going to end up using one to carry supplies. But then Bilbo would get there and he'd have one.

I would not be the one to share with anyone.

I would _not _be the one to share with anyone.

_I would not be the one to share with anyone._

"We'll need a pony to carry supplies." Thorin stated as everyone got ready to go. "Someone will need to share." Gandalf nodded as he took note of what Thorin was saying.

And, of motherfucking course, everyone looked at me.

"Why do _I _have to share?" I frowned. "Because you're light and you're a girl." Joey replied in his morning voice, still extremely tired.

Yes, you creepy-ass fangirls. Joey does have a sexy morning voice.

"Sexist bitch." I muttered, shoving him over. He groaned as he hit the ground and I smirked.

"She can share with Kíli. You don't mind, do you, brother?"

I looked up to see Kíli looking a bit shocked, and Fíli smirking at his younger brother.

"I-"

"I-"

We were both cut off by Gandalf. "It's settled! Mickey will share with Kíli! Now then, we must be off."

Joey finally stood up after I'd shoved him over and he threw a tired smirk in my direction.

I shoved him over again and made my way over to Kíli, who was already settled on the pony. He held out a hand and I took it with a semi-grateful smile. The smile was wiped away though when I realized he was yanking me up in _front _of him, rather than to sit behind him.

Which confused me to no end.

Did he expect me to-

"It's easier for you to fall off if you sit behind me." He stated, obviously having noticed my confusion as he reached around me and gripped the reigns.

_Ah jeez._

I looked over at Joey who smirked at me again as he hopped up onto his own pony.

Then I remembered the night previous when Joey had said I wasn't allowed to fall for and/or screw any of the dwarves, specifically Kíli and I smirked back at him. Joey's expression turned to one of confusion and I flicked my gaze up to Kíli, momentarily. Kíli didn't notice, but Joey did. His confused look dropped to a "Don't you fucking dare" look and I grinned victoriously before looking away, down at the pony I was settled on.

"Does he have a name?" I questioned, speaking to Kíli. I heard him chuckle behind me. "No, I don't believe he does. Would you like to-"

"Can I?" I twisted slightly to look at him and he laughed at what was probably the most hopeful expression I've ever sent towards someone.

"Go right ahead." He chuckled.

I grinned and turned to look at the pony again. "Hmmmm... What should I name you..."

As I contemplated what to name the pony, our journey began. Bets were taken on whether or not Bilbo would show up. Joey and I joined in on the fun, both of us being among the _few _to state that we thought Bilbo would show.

A few hours passed after this and I was still contemplating what to name the pony. Every so often, I'd get an idea, but then I'd turn it down, causing Kíli, Bofur, Joey and Fíli to all laugh at my struggle to come up with a name.

I groaned and facepalmed. "I give up! I can't do it! I can't name the pony!"

"Mickey just pick a name!" Joey laughed, now wide awake. "How hard is it to pick a name? I picked one for mine!"

"It's all about being _original _when picking the name." I replied in a "duh" voice. "What'd you name yours? Alicia?"

Joey was silent, his cheeks going slightly rosy.

"Ooooo who's Alicia, lad?" Bofur teased, earning laughter from Kíli, Fíli and myself, as well as some chuckles from other dwarves around us.

"Joey's one true love!" I gushed in an overly dramatic voice, earning more laughter and a scowl from Joey. Then in a completely deadpan, straight-on monotone I said "She's also my little sister."

"How many siblings've you got?" Fíli raised an eyebrow.

"Three, actually. All sisters." I replied. "Tanner, Alicia and Ash."

"And I live with them." Joey sighed. "All of them. _Plus _Carrie, who is Mickey's _other _best friend." He made a face, although we both knew that he loved Carrie as much as he loved Tanner, Ash and myself. (but not as much as he loved Alicia.)

"Five women? I-" Fíli's witty comment was cut off when there was a loud "WAIT!" heard from behind us.

Everyone stopped as we all turned to see Bilbo running up, a bag on his back and the contract in his hand. I grinned upon seeing the Hobbit. "I signed it." He said when he reached us, handing the contract to Balin. The dwarf examined it for a moment before declaring "Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

"Give him a pony." Thorin ordered before starting on again.

Bilbo's expression dropped. "No, no, no, no! That won't be necessary! Thank you, but I'm sure I can keep up on foot. I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know? Even got as far as Frogmorton, once!"

His rambling was cut off when Fíli and Bofur reached down and grabbed him by his shoulders, lifting him high enough that they could set him right on the pony meant to carry our supplies.

We continued on for a bit, before Oin shouted up to Nori. "Come on, Nori! Pay up!"

People began tossing around small bags of gold as we all remembered that we'd placed bets. I twisted slightly so I could look at Kíli, and held my hand out expectantly.

He chuckled and, with a sigh, reached into his pocket to pull out a small bag. He placed it in my hand and I smirked before shoving it in my own pocket. I looked up in time to see Gandalf get a small bag of money tossed at him as well, before he reassured Bilbo he'd never doubted him for a second.

I was back to contemplating names, once again amusing the people around me as I did so. I'd been in the process of turning down another one of my own ideas, when suddenly Bilbo shouted "STOP! Stop! We have to turn around! I've forgotten my handkerchief."

"Here." I looked over to see Bofur tearing a piece of cloth off of one of his articles of clothing and then tossing it to Bilbo. "Use this."

Everyone chuckled, before Thorin ordered for us to move on.

We ended up making a good amount of progress, before we finally decided to make camp for the night. Bofur, Bifur and Joey ended up having to collect firewood, while Kíli, Fíli and I were tying down the ponies. Everyone else was setting out their bedrolls or, in Bombur's case, preparing dinner.

I got to Kíli and I's pony last and, upon reaching it, it struck me.

"LENNON!"

Everyone looked at me.

"What was that, lass?" Gloin questioned, looking completely and utterly confused at what I'd just said.

"I said 'Lennon'." I replied. "That's what the pony's name will be. Lennon."

"Only took you all day." Fíli teased and I made a face in reply. Time passed, we all ate the small supper we were given and, soon enough, we were all just sitting around the fire. Some were silent, smoking their pipes while in deep though. Others were in deep conversation.

I'd actually been listening intently to a story Kíli and Fíli had been telling, which I was 98% sure was half made up, this idea mainly coming from the small smirks the two would share when they thought I wasn't looking, when Thorin suddenly called Kíli over to him.

I blinked, raising my eyebrows as Fíli and I watched his brother go.

"Wonder what that's about." I stated as he left. Fíli only shrugged, before continuing on where he'd left off with the story.

I'd been paying close attention to said story, until my _lovely _blessed hearing decided it was going to tune Fíli out and turn my attention to something else entirely.

That something else?

Well, of course it'd be none other than the conversation between Thorin and Kíli.

"You're to keep a close eye on her. For the duration of this quest, she's under your charge."

"Mickey is highly capable of taking care of herself! Did you not hear Gandalf, before? Mickey-"

"Gandalf says many things, Kíli. Not all of them are true."

"Why would he lie?"

"It is not my duty to understand and decipher the actions and words of a Wizard. Mickey is under your protection and it is _your _duty to ensure that she will be the cause of no trouble."

I flicked my gaze away from Fíli for just a few seconds, only to see Thorin walking away from Kíli, obviously not wanting another say in the matter from either side.

Why the fuck would I need protection? I fucking don't! I didn't! I never do!

Honestly? I was offended. I was offended and I was angry. Because people were under the impression that I couldn't take care of myself. There may be times where I seem to have a child's mentality, but, overall, I was could be a very serious person when necessary and when it came to things like this quest, I wasn't going to not take it seriously. This was obviously very important to them and I knew what it was like to have things important from you ripped away from your grasp. I knew what that was like and I wanted to help and I was _going _to help.

And I would be just fine taking care of myself in the process, thanks very much.

It was then that it sort of became my personal goal to make sure that I proved myself to Thorin. I knew I shouldn't have to, but I wanted to. I wanted to prove to him that I could take care of myself and that I was what Gandalf said I was. That was my goal and I would ensure that he would see it.

Because _no one _underestimates Mickey Parson.

_No one._

* * *

**Uh oh...**

**So this one's kinda short. And kinda sucky. I hate this one, to be honest. _Not _a fan of how it turned out, at all. According to my friends, it's pretty good.**

**But _I, _personally, hate it. Especially the third person part where I tried to break down what Kíli thinks about Mickey. I really didn't like how that turned out.**

**Either way, however, I promised this would be up two days ago and it's not up.**

**But now it is(:**

**Please don't hate me for how horrible it is .**

**Anyways, I'll be off now, probably work on chapter five a bit before I do the Christmas break homework that I'm really behind on. Thanks for the Kíli fic recs, by the way! I haven't had a chance to check them out yet, but I will. And keep the recs coming, okay? :)**

**Okay, I'm off. Love for you all?**

**Can I get some reviews? :) I'd really like some feedback, guys. Especially on this chapter, 'cause, ya know, I think it sucked...**


	6. In Which Mickey Denies Being a Hippie

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable from the works of J.R.R. Tolkien**

* * *

Chapter Five:

Minutes blurred to hours. Hours blurred to days. Days blurred to weeks. I didn't really bother to keep track, as that was what Joey was doing. I just knew that we were several weeks in.

We were down for the night. Everyone exempt Fíli, Kíli, Gandalf and myself was asleep. I think I was the only one who noticed Gandalf's being awake. Fíli and Kíli were smoking, with Fíli staring off into the distance and Kíli would stare into the distance, turn his gaze to the fire, then to the distance, then to the fire, and this back and forth-ness would continue. I was seated to Kíli's left, with Fíli on his right.

The two had gotten at me for not being asleep, as I'd woken up just after their watch began, and Dori and Nori had gone to sleep. I couldn't sleep. Something was just keeping me awake and I couldn't figure out why.

So I decided to keep watch with the two, or, really, just sit and stare into the fire, thinking about home, as I was starting to miss my sisters and Carrie.

I thought about them for a bit.

What were they doing?

At that particular moment, I had to bet that Tanner was painting. What was she painting? I couldn't tell you. It could be anything from a random farm in the middle of Ohio to a portrait of the Brady Bunch.

Nah, not the Brady Bunch...

Maybe...

James Franco.

Or me.

Yes, she was painting me.

That's what. Or, rather... Who. Yeah.

Meanwhile, Alicia was probably reading a book. Not quite sure what book. It'd be funny if she was reading The Hobbit. Be _weird_.

I thought about Ash. What would Ash be doing? Ash would be... Well... She'd be watching a movie or cooking something in the kitchen. Or maybe both at once, as we _did _have a TV in the kitchen. Meanwhile Carrie'd be the one that was struggling to find a way to bring Joey and I home. Sure, my sisters would help her. They'd definitely be helping her.

But at the same time, whether we like it or not, the Council always has a reason.

I heaved a sigh. I didn't want to think about home. Or the Council. _Especially _not the Council. They weren't worth the thoughts. _Home _was, though. I just didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about the physical and/or mental pain that I my sisters were going through at that moment. When one of us wasn't around, and there was absolutely _nothing _the others could do about it, everything really _sucked_.

It hurt. It was _painful_. And it was _not _a pleasant experience. Of course, what hurtful and painful things _were _pleasant experiences?

I was pulled from my thoughts when there was a sudden loud shriek in the distance.

"What the..." I jumped slightly, looking up and out across said distance. I raised my eyebrows when I realized that Bilbo was up. He hurried away from his pony, whom he'd earlier named Myrtle, and asked "What was that?"

Kíli confirmed my fears when he said "Orcs."

I didn't want it to be Orcs. Although I should've known it was. If Orcs were anything like Peter Jackson had made them out to be, I knew I was in for what would be the exact opposite of a fun time.

I had a freakin' _fantastic _feeling that they were much _worse _than what Peter Jackson and Co made them out to be.

Note my sarcasm.

"Orcs?" Bilbo questioned, moving faster as he made his way back over to us. The word seemed to awaken Thorin and as he woke up, I aimed a subtle kick to Joey's right shoulder, as he wasn't far from where I sat.

He grumbled quietly, the only given sign that he would be awake. "Listen." I whispered and he grumbled again.

"Throat cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lone lands are crawling with them." Fíli confirmed. Now, normally, the idea of throat cutters probably wouldn't scare me as much. But what Kíli ended up saying next honestly made me feel sick to the stomach. Because _what if it did happen?_

"They strike in the wee small hours of the night when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood." Kíli explained.

Yep. I was gonna be sick. Again, this kind of thing normally didn't get to me, but... Just the _idea _of being attacked and killed in my sleep and dying a bloody death without knowing what hit me...

That was not the way I wanted to go.

I heard chuckles next to me and I looked up at Fíli and Kíli, only to realize that they'd been pulling one over on Bilbo.

And ultimately pulling one over on me as well.

"Damnit." I mumbled looking down to stare back into the fire again. Thorin's deep voice cutting into the short silence made me jump.

"You think that's funny? You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?" He stood, moving over to give his nephews a displeased look. Kíli tried to defend he and Fíli's actions, then, and spoke "We didn't mean anything by it."

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." Thorin moved off, obviously pissed that Fíli and Kíli would even _think _about joking about that kind of thing.

Balin stepped in then, which made me jump as I hadn't even realized he was awake. "Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs."

"Heard this one before." Kíli muttered in my ear, causing me to jump again. God _damnit, _why was I so jumpy?! I looked up at him as Balin began to tell the tale of Thorin and the Pale Orc. "I'd imagine. He _is _your uncle."

Everyone slowly woke up as Balin told the tale and soon, as he finished, everyone had risen, yes Joey and I were included, and was looking at Thorin in admiration.

_That's_ bravery. As I _learned _more about Thorin Oakenshield, I was starting to _like _him, more and more.

"And the Pale Orc?" Bilbo spoke, looking over to Balin in question. "What happened to him?"

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came." Thorin answered as he made his way over to the rest of us. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

I felt reassurance when he said that, but then I looked up and my reassurance was completely destroyed when I saw the look Balin and Gandalf were sharing.

It was then that I remembered that I _knew _things that were going to happen. And I was not liking what I remembered.

One of the things I recalled?

How about the fact that Azog the Defiler was, in fact, alive and on a fucking mission to hunt down and destroy Thorin.

And, more than likely, Fíli and Kíli as well, considering they were of the line of Durin, too.

I heard something then. Something I was sure nobody else could hear.

I looked up, over the edge of the cliff that we were on.

My eyes definitely weren't as good as Ash's, but I was more than positive that I could see them.

Somehow, someway, I had never felt more fear before as I did then, when I realized that the Orcs had found us.

I also felt like a complete idiot when I decided I was going to keep that little detail to myself.

-Page-Break-

It was raining.

And it sucked.

Kíli had his cloak wrapped tightly around the both of us as we made our way through the forest, atop Lennon, who seemed to like his name.

I was shivering. Legit _shivering. _You see, rain is wet. It is also cold. When wet and cold combine, the outcome is not pleasant.

It is not pleasant _at all_.

"Here, Mister Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori questioned loudly. Gandalf gave a little sass-attack in reply, causing me to giggle slightly. "It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." I felt Kíli's chest vibrate behind me, and, through the heavy and loud downpour of the rain, I was able to hear him chuckle quietly as well. Gandalf continued on his sassy, little tangent then. "If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another Wizard."

"Are there any?" Bilbo cut in. When Gandalf wanted him to elaborate, Bilbo did so. "Other Wizards." This caught my interest. Because more magical beings meant more opportunities to figure out why, exactly we were there. Was it _only Gandalf _that had spoken to the Council about bringing us here? And why exactly did Gandalf want us there in the first place.

"There are five of us." Gandalf replied. "The greatest of our order is Saruman the White." I tensed slightly upon hearing Saruman's name, as I knew what would eventually happen some several years from where we were then, when Frodo would be entrusted with the Ring, and Saruman would join in on the side of Sauron, and, well, things wouldn't be pretty.

Gandalf continued to explain. "Then there are the two Blue Wizards... Do you know I've quite forgotten their names." This made me smile and laugh a bit again. Of course he had. "And who is the fifth?" Bilbo questioned and Gandalf replied. "Well, that would be Radagast the Brown."

"Is he a great Wizard? Or is he more like you?"

I had to contain my laughter when I realized what Bilbo had just said. "Burn." I heard Joey whisper and it was then that it became even harder to contain the previously mentioned laughter. I hadn't realized I was shaking from the contained laughter until Kíli said "Cold?"

"I, uh, yeah." I managed to reply. "Wish I could do more. I apologize." He stated quietly. I smiled at this and said "It's not your fault."

Just as we finished our short conversation, I caught Gandalf's reply to Bilbo's little snip. "I think he's a very great Wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east. And a good thing too. For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world."

"Oh, so he's a hippie." Joey nodded slowly and I turned slightly to look at him as he spoke. "Bet you'd be great friends, Mick."

"I'm not a hippie, shut up, Joey!" I snapped and he smirked. "I won't ask." I heard Fíli sigh from behind us.

"Good idea." I mumbled, leaning further back into Kíli as the cold _really _began to settle in.

* * *

**Wow, guys, this is a pitiful chapter, ain't it? I am so so so so sorry about that! It's really short and really just, urgh...**

**Chapter Six will definitely be up soon, but school starts back on Monday (do you hear my utter joy - not) so updates might become a little less often than I'd like, although I will definitely work on it.**

**I have a question, just for future reference, because I know that this story will still be around when Desolation of Smaug comes out on DVD: would you guys prefer for me to go by the book after the first movie or by the movies? Honestly, I've read fics that go by the book, although I haven't actually read the book, which I should probably get around to doing, and I prefer the way the book goes about everything versus the way Desolation of Smaug does (although I freaking loved Desolation of Smaug, don't get me wrong).**

**I will be attempting to see it again, in the near future.**

**But, anyways, would you like that? If I were to go by the book after An Unexpected Journey, or would you like me to wait for DoS to hit DVD? There would also be the issue of when TaBA comes out and when _it _comes out on DVD, so the book does, actually seem like the better option, to me, at least, but it's all up to you guys, okay? :)**

**I'll be off now, because my author's notes are always annoyingly long. And can I just say: if you haven't already, _please check out The Inconvenient and Unexpected Journey of Millie Fournier _by agent-of-fear.**

**Oh my God I absolutely _love it_.**

**Alright, I'll be off. Adios!**

**Review, maybe? :)**


	7. In Which Mickey and Bofur Have Some Fun

**Disclaimer: If I owned The Hobbit, Kíli would be in my bed right now. As it so happens, J.R.R. Tolkien owns The Hobbit, and credit goes to Peter Jackson for the movies. Not me.**

* * *

Chapter Six:

A few more days passed. We'd fallen into a pretty solid schedule. So solid, in fact, that I'd grown quite bored, quite fast.

So I'd taken it upon myself to annoy the fuck out of Joey, because I've honestly always believed that that was my true purpose in life. Not to defeat and take down and destroy evil (like my sentence of synonyms?), but to annoy Joey until he begs for mercy and, even then, continue to annoy him.

Yes.

The first night of my little mission to entertain myself and annoy the piss out of Joey was quite the interesting night. It all really began when I decided to plop myself down between Joey and Bofur while we were all sat around the fire, having just finished up the supper that Bombur had made.

Bofur grinned and threw an arm around my shoulder. "How are you, Mickey?" He questioned with a chuckle.

I gave him a toothy smile in reply. "Just great, Bofur. And you?"

"Why I'm doin' mighty fine, myself!" He laughed.

"You're planning something."

The both of us turned to Joey in confusion. He had his gaze set straight on me.

"Excuse me?" I frowned.

"You." He reached over and poked me in the cheek. "You're planning something."

I looked up at Bofur. "Bofur."

"Yes, Mickey?" He looked back down at me, winking when Joey couldn't see past the dwarf's large hat.

You see, I'd been talking to Bofur earlier, when Thorin had decided the two of us would collect wood for the fire Bombur would be cooking supper on. I'd told him about my campaign to annoy the Hell out of Joey and he'd said that he wanted in. Annoyed Joey was truly the priceless sight.

"Am I planning anything?"

"No, I don't think ya are. Why would you think the lass is plannin' something, Joey?" Bofur looked up at him, feigning confusion.

Joey's frown deepened. "You're _both _in on something that I'm not."

"No, no, no." We both shook our heads as I spoke. "No, we're not. Jeez, Joey, can two friends not sit down and ask each other how they are?"

That was when Nori said something. "Why're ya getting on them for having a conversation, Joey?" There were settle mutters of agreement from other dwarves.

"I-I-I wasn't. Well- I- You- They- Mickey, and... Ugh." Joey groaned and leaned back, ultimately flopping out on his bedroll.

The others hadn't been in on it and, honestly, Bofur and I hadn't expected them to say anything, but when Dori, Nori and others started making comments, well...

Things got a lot funnier and Bofur and I began to struggle with straight faces. However, we managed to pull through, and just continued having "casual" conversation, while Joey simply watched on, obviously not liking our tones or the way we'd gone about this "casual" conversation.

"You're planning something!" He repeated after a while, causing the two of us to freeze up a moment, although not noticeably, before turning to look at Joey again. "Joey we are not. Why do you keep thinking we're planning something?"

"Because you're being weird!" He replied, looking at Bofur and I with a slightly deranged look. He honestly looked _scared_.

So maybe not only were we _annoying _him, but making him _paranoid _as well.

Did I say annoyed Joey is the best Joey? Well I lied. _Paranoid _Joey is the best Joey. Well, actually... Paranoid _and _annoyed Joey is the _best _Joey. There we go. Now that that's been settled...

"We're not doing anything, Joey." I reassured him. "Are we doing anything, Bofur?"

The dwarf shook his head, causing me to look up at him. "No, we are not." We both then turned to look at him and grinned identically.

"Okay, yes you are because that's just... Oh jeez, _stop!_"

"Laddie, what could they possibly be doin' wrong? They're having a conversation." Balin stepped in, seeming honestly sincere. If not for the twinkle I caught in his eye, I wouldn't have thought that he _had _caught on to what Bofur and I were doing.

_This _is why Balin and I are friends. Because the guy knows how to _have a laugh_.

Joey groaned. "But they're not- They- I- Ugh. I give up."

But he didn't give up? You know how I know? Because Bofur and I continued messing with him until everyone went to sleep.

Somehow, no one had really caught on that Bofur and I were just screwing around, aside from Gandalf and Balin. Of course, Gandalf never said a word, but Balin would give a quiet chuckle every once in a while and, like before, throw in a comment just to help Bofur and I out.

Not that the two of us were paying attention to who had caught on to our jokes or anything like that.

Which, in rectrospect, may not have been the smartest idea. Why? Well, because, while some, like Balin, caught on and realized what we were doing. Others, however... Not so much. Others, actually, well...

Others didn't like the closeness of Bofur and I.

When I say "others," I really mean _one _other. One dark featured archer, who _really _didn't like how close Bofur and I were becoming.

However, we were too busy goofing off to notice.

-Page-Break-

Bofur and I continued to screw with Joey as time passed by. Every day it was something different. Sometimes he never caught on and sometimes he did.

It was the sixth day and we'd basically been reduced to poking him at random intervals as we traveled. Lucky for me, Kíli'd been keeping Lennon close by Fíli and Joey, who'd been having conversations about God knows what, as I didn't really bother paying attention. Fíli was slightly in front of us, while Joey was to our right. On _Joey's _right, was Bofur.

So, every now and then, when Joey was too enveloped in gazing at nature or conversing with Fíli, either Bofur, or myself, would lean over and just poke him. Then we'd quickly return to our previous positions and Joey would look around only to see that nothing had changed, although we both knew that he knew it was us.

Or maybe it wasn't?

Because, in Joey's mind, nobody can move that fast without a bit of magic. And the two of us (as in Joey and I) had agreed: No magic around members of the company, exempt Gandalf, and Gandalf alone, until the time was dire or right - whichever came first.

You'd be surprised how many people _don't _listen when you tell them you're a _good _Witch.

I leaned against Kíli with a bored sigh as the sun beat down. It was exceptionally hot, and I wasn't enjoying it. I'd long since shed my cloak, and was down to the clothes I'd borrowed from Bilbo before we left the Shire. Why did I have clothes I borrowed from Bilbo? Because, somehow, they fit me. They were quite comfortable too, to be honest. Joey'd borrowed clothes from Fíli, if I wasn't mistaken. The two were about the same size.

"Hot?" Kíli inquired and I nodded and spoke with a heavy sigh. "Why can't we travel in the _shade?_"

He chuckled. "That may be because the _road _doesn't lead through the shade." "Well whoever built the road was stupid." I mumbled, leading him to only laugh again.

I glanced over at Bofur, who gave the nod saying it was my turn to poke Joey. I grinned and nodded, waiting until Joey was wrapped up enough in his conversation with Fíli for me to lean over, just enough, and poke him on the elbow. I quickly resumed my position against Kíli, who'd obviously been getting more and more curious as to what the Hell Bofur and I were doing, because once Joey'd turned back to talking to Fíli, after giving me a weird look, he quietly questioned "_What _are you _doing_?"

I craned my neck so I could look back at him and simply smiled. "I'm not doing anything."

He rolled his eyes. "No?" I grinned and shook my head. "Nope. Nothing at all." With a disbelieving sigh, he nodded and, with a small smile, turned his gaze back to the road ahead of us. I ended up turning away just in time to see Bofur lean over and poke Joey.

Joey reacted again, but Bofur was back in his previous position of sitting up straight and paying attention to something in the opposite direction of Joey, when he turned to look. With a frustrated sigh, he turned back to Fíli, apologized, muttering something about bugs, and they continued their conversation once more.

A bit of time passed, before Fíli was soon called ahead by Dwalin to discuss something. What? I don't know. Kíli, however, had been a tad bit offended that he hadn't been called up as well. I'd reassured him and said something else in an attempt to make him feel better and felt quite proud of myself when it worked.

It was after that when Bofur and I shared a look.

_Lightbulb._

"On the count of three." I mouthed and he grinned and nodded.

And so, on a silent count of three, the two of us both leaned over and, at the exact same time, poked Joey on the elbow closest to each of us, whilst he was focused on paying attention to a discussion between Gloin and Nori about, once again, _God knows what_.

Joey let out another furstrated growl and turned to look at both of us, but we were both back to our nonchalant expressions and positions before he could.

We were driving him _crazy_.

It was then, however, to Bofur and I's great disappointment, that Joey actually brought Alicia (his pony, named after my sister, remember?) forward and, therefore, out of Bofur and I's reach.

"Damnit." I mumbled, before the two of us shared a successful nod and a silent promise that we'd continue to bug him once we made camp.

And it wasn't long before we were stopping, seeing a small destroyed little home up ahead. I proceeded to slide off of Lennon, with the help of Kíli because, for some reason, I was quite incompetent when it came to dismounting animals, and then I moved up slightly to ask Joey a quiet question. "Joey."

He turned to look at me, poking incidents from earlier seemingly forgotten. Bofur and I would have to change that. "Yeah?" He whispered back, confused as to why I'd been whispering in the first place.

"Doesn't the movie pick up here?" I asked.

He blinked for a moment, before he turned to look up at the little destroyed home. Thorin was throwing around orders, as he usually did when we set up camp every night, whilst Gandalf examined the home, then declared that we should move on.

And, thanks to my blessed hearing, I was able to hear the entire conversation between Gandalf and Thorin that ensued upon this comment from Gandalf.

"I think it does, Mick." Joey whispered, just before the conversation ensued.

"We could make for the hidden valley." Gandalf suggested, turning to look at our leader, who approached him as he spoke.

"I have told you already, I will _not _go near that place." Thorin shot down the idea before anyone else could've even hoped to have heard what Gandalf had said.

"Why not? The Elves could _help _us." Gandalf tried and Joey looked at me. "What're they saying, Mick? Haven't seen the movie in a while... Or read the book for that matter. I've just got the basic idea, ya know?"

I held my hand up and placed it over his mouth, keeping my gaze and ears concentrated on what Gandalf and Thorin were saying. "They're talking about the Hidden Valley." I muttered.

"We could get food, rest, advice." Gandalf continued on his attempt to persuade Thorin.

"I do not need their advice." Said Thorin. It was quiet. If one heard it, one would know Gandalf was pissing him off.

"We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could _help us_." Gandalf continued to try. That's what I admire the old guy for. He never gives up.

"Help?" Thorin's tone changed suddenly, and the first thing that ran through my mind was _fuck_, _Gandalf's done it now_. "A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls. The Elves looked on and did nothing. And you ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather. Who betrayed my father."

"You are neither of them." Gandalf sighed and, if I could've seen his face, it probably would've held a strained expression. "I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past."

"I did not know that they were yours to keep."

_Ah shit_.

I blinked as Gandalf simply turned and began to walk away.

"Everything all right?" Bilbo questioned as Gandalf began to walk away from Thorin, and I quickly removed my hand from Joey's mouth so as to make sure we didn't look suspicious. I was pretty sure Gandalf was aware of my blessed hearing and I didn't want him to think we were listening in.

Although I'm pretty sure he knew that we were.

"Gandalf where are you going?" Bilbo continued as the Wizard continued to walk past him.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." Gandalf snapped in reply, brushing past everyone as he moved on.

"And who's that?" Bilbo pressed on.

"_Myself, _Mr Baggins!"

"God damnit." I mumbled as Gandalf left. "That's great."

I turned to look around and as I did, caught Bofur's eye. He raised his eyebrows and motioned to Joey.

I gave a small smile in reply, before I turned to look up at the Guardian Angel. "_Well then, _I'll just be on my way, Jo-Jo!"

Joey's gaze snapped from Gandalf's retreating back to me, eyes wide. "Did you just call me-"

"Adios, amigo." I smiled, patted his shoulder and made my way over towards where Fíli and Kíli were as they gathered the ponies.

"Hello." I greeted them, still smiling.

"What've you done to him _now_?" Fíli questioned with raised eyebrows, motioning over to Joey. I glanced behind me to see that Joey was staring at me, his eyes still wide and his face looking quite scared.

I hadn't called him Jo-Jo since the days where we used to have all-out prank wars...

*sigh* Good times. _Good times_.

I looked back at Fíli, faking an innocent look. "I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about, Fíli."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure."

"Oi, Mickey!" I turned to see Bofur motioning for me to come over. I turned back to the brothers before me. "Half a mo." I smiled, before making my way over to the dwarf.

"Yes?" I grinned once I reached him.

"Are we gonna continue messin' with him or...?" Bofur chuckled, raising an eyebrow and pulling his pipe out of his coat.

I shrugged. "What do you think?" We both turned to look at Joey, who was messing with the straps on Alicia's saddle, as Fíli and Kíli had yet to collect the pony from him. He looked semi-nervous as he did so, glancing up at Bofur and I, with his eyes widening before he looked back down again.

That was when an idea struck me. Without telling the dwarf before me, or giving any notice whatsoever to anyone for that matter, with a flick of my wrist I froze all of the company. I looked down, then up at Bofur, remembering what position I was standing in, before I made my way over to Joey.

If I could execute this _perfectly_...

I rested my finger on his shoulder blade and then proceeded to unfreeze Joey - _just Joey_ - only for a second. I then froze him once the second had passed, and quickly made my way over to Bofur.

I resumed the position I'd stood in before and then, once I was situated, unfroze everything.

We both watched as Joey spun around and when he realized there was no one within several meters of him, he let out a loud and extremely girlish squeak, causing everyone to raise their eyebrows and then turn away from Joey, resuming their original business.

"Alright, Joey?" I heard Kíli question and Bofur and I watched as he approached him to collect Alicia from him.

Joey stared up at the dark haired dwarf with wide eyes. "I- _No_. I'm not. Bofur and Mickey! I _swear! _They have it _in for me!"_

Bofur and I both quickly turned back to each other as Kíli and Joey turned to look at us.

"I think we've done enough to the poor lad." Bofur chuckled quickly, bringing the unlit pipe up to his mouth. I laughed and nodded. "I think you're right, Bofur. We've successfully drove him off that lovely metaphorical cliff." This statement only caused Bofur to laugh, and I grinned successfully.

That was when Fíli approached. "Bofur, Mickey... I won't ask." He said upon seeing the dwarf laughing and my successful grin.

"No, you shouldn't, lad." Bofur chuckled. "You really shouldn't."

"Yeah, Bofur's right." I agreed, my grin never fading.

"Well then..." Fíli nodded once, a suspicious expression in place, before it faded into, well, what one might call a _mischeivous _one. "I see Thorin hasn't given you any specific orders." He stated, speaking to me.

"No, he hasn't. Why is it important?"

"Lass, I'm going to go join my brother." Bofur stated, turning to look at me and Fíli once. He gave a nod and then walked off, sending a smirk in Joey's direction as I did, causing Joey, who was still standing with Kíli, to squeak.

Kíli then began to slowly make his way away from the Guardian Angel.

I had to contain my laughter at the expression on the dwarven prince's face, before turning back to his brother, who only continued sporting the mischeivous smile. "_You _should join Kíli and I in tending to the ponies."

"And why would I do that, Fíli?" I questioned with raised eyebrows, although the idea itself didn't seem that bad.

"Because you have nothing better to do." He replied, the mischeivous smile only widening when I sighed and nodded. "_Fine, _because I really _don't_ have anything better to do."

"Perfect!" Fíli's smile turned to a full out ear-splitting grin, and he threw an arm around my shoulder. "This way, then!"

And so I assisted Fíli and Kíli in leading the ponies away from the camp.

Missing another jealous glance from a dark haired prince as I did so.

Not much time passed before we were settled in a small clearing in the midst of the trees, a bit off from everyone else, to the point where not even my blessed hearing could really make out their conversations.

Ah, well.

"You'll be joining us then?" Kíli questioned as he made his way over to where Fíli and I stood, leaning against a few trees, having brought our own shares of the ponies over already.

I smiled and nodded. "At the invitation of your brother, yes, I will."

Soon, the three of us were sat on the ground, leaning against some trees that were close together, and reaching the agreement that, every once in a while we'd check and make sure we had all of the ponies. Meanwhile, we'd sit and, well... Converse.

Over what?

Well, we hadn't figured that out yet.

"Mickey, tell us about your home." Fíli suggested and I made a face. "Why do you want to know about that?"

"Because you are a woman of mystery, Miss Parson." He smirked. "And-"

"And Joey won't tell you anything."

"Yes, well... That too, I suppose."

Kíli laughed while I smirked in triumph and Fíli looked down, not wanting to admit I'd found out.

I hummed for a second, thinking. What could I tell them? "Well, it's very different than here, I can tell you that much."

"How so?" Kíli asked and I turned to him. (I had Fíli on my right and Kíli on my left.) "Well, for one, it's not so hard to believe that a woman can accomplish things that a man can accomplish. In fact, there are _plenty _of great women. I could several off if I wanted to."

"And I suppose you are on that list?" Fíli teased, nudging me and I rolled my eyes. "No, but my mother is." The two laughed and I made a face. "I'm serious! My mother is the greatest woman I've ever met. I mean, you have to be pretty amazing to give birth to _me_." I offered up a mischeivous smile of my own then, while the two continued to laugh. "I'm _sure, _Mickey."

I continued to tell them different things about home. They asked about my sisters and Carrie, so I told them. They asked if the food was different (of course they would), and I went into a tangent about Mario's Italian food, because even _Seraphina _knows that Mario makes the most amazing Italian food in the universe.

I'd just finished on a small rant about Mario's leaving the two looking quite amused at my food rant, when we decided we'd check on the ponies. The ponies were all sticking to three spots, so Fíli went to one, Kíli went to the second and I went to the third, each of us calling out the amount we saw at the spot we went to.

"Six!"

"Six!"

"Four!"

That equaled sixteen, meaning we had just the right amount of ponies. The three of us moved back to our spot and it was then that I decided they were going to tell _me _about _their _home.

"What about you guys?" I started as we sat down again.

"What about us?" Kíli questioned, looking down at me in slight confusion.

"I mean, what about _your _home? Ered Luin, right?"

"That's correct." Kíli nodded and smiled, before he and Fíli went on to tell me all about the Blue Mountains, and then proceeded to tell me everything their Uncle, as well as others, had told them about Erebor.

"It will be a sight to behold." Fíli stated with a sigh, leaning back against the tree with a content smile.

"I bet it will." I nodded, having a good understanding of how happy the two were that they would be able to help their uncle reclaim what was _meant _to be their home.

"Check the ponies again?" I suggested after a few moments of contented silence. The two agreed, and we moved to check.

"Six!"

"Four!"

"Six!"

We had sixteen. We moved back to where we sat, and once again fell into conversation, once again with the two of them telling tales that they'd learned of Erebor, as well as tales of their own childhoods and adventures in Ered Luin. This went in exchange for stories that I'd tell them about home, without telling them so much that they were confused about what the Hell I was talking about, or giving away the fact that Joey and I were a Guardian Angel and a Witch, respectively.

We went to check the ponies once more.

"Six!" I called.

"Four!" Came Kíli's voice.

Fíli was silent.

"Fíli?"

"Fíli!"

The two of us met up where we'd all been sitting and talking to see Fíli standing there with a looking that was baffled, worried and sheepish all rolled up into one.

"Fíli what's wrong?" I asked as we approached him.

"Four." Was his reply.

"Four?" Kíli questioned.

"I counted four."

I did the simple mental math. "Which means we don't have sixteen... We have fourteen."

Kíli muttered a curse (or what I assume was a curse) in Khuzdul as the three of us turned to look at the scene before us.

Well this wasn't good.

We were silent for a few moments as we took in the fact that, somehow, two of them had disappeared without our notice.

And, in the process, apparently a tree had been taken down.

Had we been _that wrapped up _in our conversations that we didn't notice a _tree _falling down?

I heard someone approaching behind us, but didn't bother to turn to see who it was or welcome them. Neither did Fíli or Kíli.

The person reached us and it was revealed to be Bilbo as he stepped between Fíli and Kíli, somehow managing to handle three bowls of soup.

"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked upno seeing all of our expressions.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kíli started.

"Only we've encountered a slight problem." Fíli continued.

"There were originally 16." I finished. "And, well... Now there's 14."

"Don't you think we should figure out which ones were lost?!" Bilbo suggested quickly, looking at the three of us like we were complete idiots for just standing there.

Well... We probably were.

Kíli moved out to do so, while Fíli and I moved over to examine the fallen tree. Bilbo kind of just stood where we'd originally been.

"Shit..." I muttered, kneeling down and looking at the uprooted tree. "How did we miss you coming down...?"

"Daisy and Bungo are missing." Came Kíli's voice as he made his way back over.

"Well that's not good..." Bilbo laughed nervously, following Kíli over to where Fíli and I were. "And _that _is not goot at all." He pointed to the three as he neared us. "Uh, shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

Fear kind of struck me then.

That would not be good.

Fíli cut in instantly. "Uh, no. Let's not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it."

I raised my eyebrows. You want the unexperience Hobbit to help us figure out what uprooted the tree and then proceeded to steal Daisy and Bungo? Because there is no way the two knocked over a tree and wandered off on their own.

"Well, uh..." Bilbo was quiet for a moment. "Look, something bit uprooted these trees."

"That's what we were thinking, too." I stated quietly as I stood up, running my hand over the roots that now were up in the air rather than deep in the ground. I wasn't a tree-hugging hippie (maybe I had been back in the sixties, but that was a long time ago), but I certainly didn't hate or neglect nature. Nature was a beautiful thing and- Well... I won't go into a tangent about it.

Because sometimes, although I hate to admit it, that tree-hugging hippie from the sixties resurfaces... And... Well...

It's not pretty.

_I never told you that._

"It's something very big and possibly quite dangerous..." Bilbo continued.

That was when I heard something. It sounded like, well, arguing. And it certainly wasn't the dwarves over at camp.

"Hey." Came Fíli's voice and I turned to see what he was looking at. "There's a light!" He motioned Kíli and I over to where he and Bilbo stood.

Guess what happened on the way over?

I tripped.

And fell.

Only I didn't hit the ground.

Know why?

Because, once again, like the freakin' knight in freakin' shining armour he is, Kíli caught me.

"Has anyone told you you're quite clumsy?" He whispered, helping me up and smirking.

"Has anyone told you you pick the worst times to flirt?" I replied feeeling a smirk of my own form as his fell completely. We turned to where Fíli and Bilbo were, leaning up against a log that was also once a tree, but looking at the growth around it, you could tell it had fallen a while ago. "Stay down." Kíli whispered as I tried to get a better look at the light in the distance.

"What is it?" Bilbo asked.

Kíli's reply was almost instant. "Trolls."

"Ah fuck." I mumbled, facepalming.

The brothers began to move forward and I jumped over the log, quickly following them. I could faintly hear Bilbo behind me.

We reached a few large trees to hide behind, when we saw one of the previously mentioned trolls, carrying more ponies.

"He's got Myrtle and Alicia!" Bilbo whisper-shouted. "I think they're gonna eat them. We have to do something."

"Yes. You should." Kíli said suddenly, standing up.

My eyes widened.

They were gonna send the _Hobbit _in there?!

"Mountain Trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small, they'll never see you!" Kíli explained upon seeing Bilbo's shock. "It's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you." He added on when Bilbo started to protest. "If you run into trouble hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl."

"What are you two-"

Kíli proceeded to pick me up and carry me away from where we'd been standing with Bilbo, Fíli carrying two of the three soups and the third in my hands while Kíli carried me.

"Guys we can't just _leave him!_"

"Mickey you heard Gandalf when he was trying to convince Thorin and the rest of us that Bilbo was worth bringing along!" Kíli said, setting me down once we were a good distance away. "Hobbits are small, fast and quiet! He'll be perfectly fine."

I groaned, setting the bowl in my hands down. "You don't know that! You've sent a small, inexperienced Hobbit in to get _four ponies _away from _three Mountain Trolls_. Do you _really_ think he'll be able to-"

"That's why we're going to get our Uncle right now!" Fíli stated. "Now come on!"

I frowned. "No, I'm going _back, _to help _Bilbo _because, _Seraphina, _for _crying out loud, _knows that Bilbo can't do this alone. God _damn_. I don't know if you noticed but they have Alicia and if Joey finds out that his pony that he named after my sister was _eaten _by freakin' _Mountain Trolls _he will more than likely _keel over _and I don't think we want that." With that, I turned and sprinted off, ignoring Fíli and Kíli's calls behind me.

I finally reached the Hobbit and I tapped him on the shoulder when I did. He jumped and turned to look at me. "Mickey? What're you-"

I cut him off. "Helping you. Now then, we've got some ponies to save."

Just as we reached the dwarves, once sneezed into whatever the Hell one of the others was cooking.

"Well that's lovely, that is. A floater."

I felt sick just at the thought of that.

_Disgusting._

"Might improve the flavor."

Good _lord_.

The trolls continued to talk and even argue a bit, while Bilbo and I quietly made our way over to the pen where the ponies were being kept. Alicia, Myrtle, Bungo and Daisy all were in the pen and they all moved over to where we were when they saw us. I petted Daisy for a moment. "We'll get you guys out, okay?" I promised quietly, before I turned to the crazily knotted rope that Bilbo was working at. "What the _Hell _happened here?" I muttered, staring at the knot.

"Exactly my thinking..." He sighed as we both moved to figure out what had happened when the Trolls had decided to knot the rope.

We had to hide for a moment when one Troll started to turn around and go on about gutting the horses. Said Troll was soon hit over the head with a spoon, causing him to turn around and sit down. Bilbo and I proceeded to continue trying to untie the rope.

"This _stupid_, mother_fucking _knot." I growled, tugging at it as I continued to work. That was when I noticed Bilbo was gone. "Bilbo?" I turned to see him crawling towards the three Trolls.

"Bilbo!" I whisper-shouted. He looked back and I started making crazy hand motions, basically trying to ask him what the _Hell _he was doing.

Then I noticed the knife that hung off of the "belt" of one of the dwarves. I was trying to get it so he could cut the rope.

_Why the Hell hadn't I thought of that?_

"Be careful!" I mouthed and he gave me a look that was basically asking me if I thought he wouldn't be.

Finally, he reached the Troll and was reaching up to grab the knife. I turned back to the ponies, working on the knot, only to look up a moment later to see that the Troll was grabbing Bilbo.

"Fuck."

And then he blew his nose on Bilbo.

"_Fuck_."

"Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me hooter! It's got arms and legs and everything!"

"What is it?"

"HEY!"

I don't really know what I was thinking.

"YOU! UGLY!"

I must've been completely off at that moment in time.

"What's that?"

"You callin' us ugly?!"

"PUT HIM DOWN!"

"Grab it!"

And, of course, like Bilbo, I was suddenly in the hands of a Troll and it was examining me as it held me by my right leg. I could feel the blood rushing to my head as I struggle to get out of it's grip.

"What are you?" One asked, looking at the two of us.

Bilbo answered first. "I'm a burglar- uh- _Hobbit!_"

I facepalmed.

"And what are _you_?" The one holding me shook me.

"I'm a _girl! _And not the kind that you _eat!_ Put me down!"

"Are there more burglar Hobbits and girls around these parts, then?" They asked.

Bilbo and I shared a look.

_Do not tell them._

Soon one was holding Bilbo by his legs as well after the Hobbit had tried to make an escape to tell the others that we'd been figured out and, well, they had me.

At least, I hoped that's what he would've done...

"Are there any more of you little things hiding where you shouldn't?" The one holding Bilbo asked, holding a knife up to him.

"No." Bilbo denied and I nodded quickly, although it hurt. "None at all! We're the only ones!"

"They're lying." One accused.

"No we're not!" Bilbo shook his head, looking around.

"Hold their toes over the fire! Make 'em squeal! Start with the girl!

Someone jumped out of the bushes then and I turned to see that it was Kíli.

_God bless America._

_Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, __**thank you, **__whoever it was that decided that Kíli needed to be put on this Earth._

He brought his sword across the legs of the one that'd been saying to hold our toes in the fire, starting with me, causing said Troll to fall over. "Drop them!" Kíli shouted.

"You what?" The one holding Bilbo snapped, looking down at Kíli.

"I said drop them."

We were both thrown at Kíli, me landing next to him and Bilbo landing on top of him, whilst the other dwarves, plus Joey and led by Thorin, charged out of the bushes.

Bilbo was quickly up and moving, whilst I was still recovering from behind upside down for so long.

"Alright, Mickey?" Kíli helped me up.

I frowned, jerking my arm out of his hand and remembering something.

I was mad at him. I was mad at both him and Fíli. They'd let Bilbo just _wander off _when it had been _them _(okay, it'd been _us_) who'd lost the ponies in the first place and then I was the only one doing anything about it.

"I'm fine." I snapped. He looked confused at my upset tone, but before he could work anything, he realized we had to help with, well, bringing down the Trolls.

And so we rushed into the fray.

Which was when I realized I was weaponless.

I swore loudly, before turning and realizing Bilbo was making it his priority to get the ponies out.

I'd help him. That's what I'd do, because, _damnit, _I didn't have a weapon.

First order of business once all of this Troll shit was over with: _Get a weapon_ - _preferably a sword._

He'd found one of the Troll's knives and was starting to cut the rope, but struggling to do so as the knife was heavy. I ran over and moved to the other side. "Need any help, Master Hobbit?" I grinned and he gave a weak smile back, nodding gratefully. We were quickly able to slice the rope and free the ponies, which all ran off as they were overwhelmed with what had been going on whilst they were trapped.

That was when I felt something.

What was that something?

Well, of course, it was a hand around my torso.

_Fuck_.

"Lay down your arms." The one holding Bilbo ordered, whilst two were holding me by my arms and legs.

"Or we rip off theirs. Starting with _hers_."

I swallowed uneasily as I felt a tug at my arm and winced.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

To my complete and desperate relief, Thorin threw his sword down, causing everyone else to quickly do the same.

It was long before half of us, myself included, were tossed into sacks, while the other half was tied up to a spit over their fire. Joey was among those over the fire.

As of that particular moment, more wood had been tossed onto the fire, causing those tied up above it to start panicking. The Trolls were currently arguing over how to cook all of us.

And, well, who was going to get to eat the pretty little girl.

"I still say I should get 'er." A whack over the head with a spoon was earned. "_I _caught her so _I _get her!"

"Fuck." I mumbled, squirming as I tried to get out of the sack I was in.

"If you _don't mind_." A voice hissed and I looked to see it was Kíli.

So that's the soft thing I was laying on top of.

I stopped squirming and glared at him. "I'm not talking to you."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm mad at you, now _shush_. I'm trying to figure out how to get out of here."

I know what you're all thinking.

Why hadn't I just frozen the Trolls in the beginning when we were trying to get the ponies out?

Because it wasn't the _time _for everyone to find out that I was a freaking _Witch_. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you would be incredibly surprised how many people _don't believe _in the concept of a _good Witch_.

"We ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away. Let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone."

Yep, that pulled me out of my thoughts. And I think it gave Bilbo an idea because the Hobbit jumped up. "Wait! You are making a _terrible _mistake."

"You can't reason with them! They're half-wits!" Dori shouted from where he was on the spit.

"Half-wits? What does that make us?!" Bofur snapped back, also on the spit.

"I meant with the, uh, seasoning." Bilbo stated, hopping over so he could speak to the Trolls.

"What about the seasoning?" One of the Trolls asked, turning to Bilbo.

"Well, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up."

"_Excuse you?!" _I shouted alongside the protests from everyone else around me.

"Traitor!"

"What do you know about cooking Dwarf?" Another Troll asked.

"Shut up. Let the, uh, flurgaburburhobbit talk." The first one stated, turning back to Bilbo.

The _what?_

"Uh, the secret to cooking Dwarf is... Uhm... It's uh..."

"Yes? Come on, tell us the secret."

"Yes, I'm _telling _you. The secret is... To... _Skin the first!"_

At first, my eyes had widened. He was going to let them _skin _the Dwarves? He was _telling them _to _skin _the Dwarves! Then it hit me - like a brick, too, if you're wondering - _He was buying time_.

Okay, time for honesty. It hadn't actually hit me because I'd realized it, but more because I remembered the movie and _this _happened in the movie and Bilbo was revealed to be buying time.

But if ya feel like it, you can pretend alongside me that I had the brains to _catch on _rather than _remember_.

"_What?!_"

"Skin us?!"

Numerous insults and the like were shouted out upon Bilbo saying this, while I just kinda laid back, waiting.

I felt pretty smart at that moment. I knew we'd be safe.

We had to be safe, because even if I didn't remember the storyline of _The Hobbit, _I would forever remember the story line of _The Lord of the Rings, _because of Tanner's obsession with it, therefore I would always remember that Bilbo gives the Ring to Frodo and so on and so forth.

"Tom, get me filleting knife." The Troll speaking to Bilbo said.

"I'll skin you, you little-"

"I won't forget that! I won't forget it!"

"What a load of rubbish!" One of the Trolls cut in. "I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scarf 'em, I say. Boots and all."

"He's right." Said another of the three. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw Dwarf!"

I let out a loud squeak when he reached down and grabbed Bombur, lifting him up upside down. "Nice and crunchy!"

"_No, no! _Not that one! He's infected!" Bilbo shouted, stopping him.

"Huh?"

"You what?"

_Thank God for Bilbo Baggins._

"Yeah, he's got worms... In his... Tubes..."

"_EW!_" The Troll threw Bombur down onto the rest of us, specifically me, causing me to let out a loud groan and Bombur to mutter a shaky apology as he rolled off.

"In fact, they all have! They're _infested _with parasites! It's a terrible business. I wouldn't risk it. I really wouldn't."

"Parasites?! Did he said parasites?!" Oin shouted angrily.

"We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" Kíli added on and I rolled my eyes. "Mature."

They continued to shout, until Thorin suddenly aimed a kick into the mix, silencing everyone.

I started it. "Well I've got the _biggest _parasites! They're _huge!_ My parasites are _so big, _my sisters treat them like pets!"

I don't really know where it came from. I just started ranting about how Ash takes such good care of her parasite, which is actually my parasite - I don't really know why.

Soon enough, others joined in.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"

"Mine are the biggest parasites! I've got _huge _parasites!"

"We're riddled!"

"Yes, yes, riddled!"

"Yes, we are! Badly!"

"What would you have us do then?" A Troll looked at Bilbo. "Let them all go?"

"Well..." Bilbo went to continue but the Troll didn't allow it.

"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!"

"Ferret?!"

"Fools?"

"The dawn will take you all!"

_God bless America, he scared me!_

_While you're blessing America, could ya bless Gandalf the Grey, too? Yeah? Thanks._

I'd literally jumped when Gandalf had appeared up on the large rock that, really, blocked the sun off from the small clearing we were in.

"Who's that?"

"No idea."

"Can we eat him too?"

Gandalf brought his staff down onto the rock, splitting it in half and everyone watched as the Trolls were suddenly turned to stone by the sunlight.

"_Hell yeah!" _I laughed, grinning and finally managing to sit up, however uncomfortable it may've been in that sack. Everyone joined in on my laughter and began cheering at our survival.

_"Oh get your foot out of my back!"_

Except Dwalin, of course...

I'd get him to smile. I promise.

Soon enough we were all out of our sacks and whoever was tied up on the spit was untied and brought down. Joey, being the softie he is, ran over and hugged me, causing me to laugh. "What're ya doin', Edwards?"

"I thought I was gonna roast, okay?! I'm allowed to hug my best friend!"

I rolled my eyes and continued to laugh, hugging him back. "Awh, you're cute, Jo-Jo."

And suddenly I was being held at arms length, a terrified expression overtaking his face. "_No_."

However, before he could say or do anything else, Gandalf appeared. "And how are the two of you?"

I smiled at him and wriggled out of Joey's grip. "We're just fine Gandalf."

"Thanks to Bilbo, of course." Joey added on and I nodded. Gandalf smiled. "Good, good."

"Where did you go, if I may ask?" The three of us turned to see Thorin approaching.

"To look ahead." Gandalf replied.

"What brought you back?"

"Looking behind."

I smiled when Gandalf turned his gaze to the rest of the Dwarves, then Joey and I for a moment. "Nasty business." Joey grinned and the Wizard turned back to Thorin. "Still, they're all in one piece."

"No thanks to your burglar."

I blinked.

Joey and I had _just said _that it was all thanks to Bilbo.

And now Thorin was saying it _wasn't_?

"He had the nous to play for time." Gandalf defended, his expression changing. "None of the rest of you thought of that."

Ooooh, burn.

I considered voicing this, but before I could, Gandalf continued speaking, now beginning to talk about the Trolls. "They must have come down from the Ettenmoors..."

"Since when do Mountain Trolls venture this far south?" Thorin questioned, as our gazes all turned to the statue. "Ooh, not for an age." Gandalf replied. "Not since a darker power ruled these lands."

Joey and I shared a look then. Darker power. Sauron. Oh shit.

"They could not have moved in daylight." Gandalf pressed on, pulling Joey and I out of our thoughts. "There must be a cave nearby." Thorin stated as he began to look around. Soon enough, he was barking orders and we had to start moving again.

"Come along, Mickey, Joey." Gandalf said, motioning for us to follow him.

We started to walk, Joey and I sharing a silent conversation as we walked behind the Wizard.

Basically we were trying to figure out whether it was a good time to talk to Gandalf about our being there, or if it wasn't. We managed to silently agree that we'd ask and Joey went to do so, only to be cut off by Fíli and Kíli popping up out of _nowhere_.

"There you are." Fíli smiled upon the two falling into step on either side of me, ultimately cutting me off from Joey, who blinked in confusion. "Kíli tells me you're upset and I'd like to apologize for whatever idiot thing he may have done." Kíli scowled at him over the top of my head.

"Yes, I am. With both of you, actually. Now if you _don't mind_," I stopped moving whilst they continued, having not expected my stop, and then proceeded to move over so I was at Joey's right. "We were talking about something important."

Joey looked equally as confused as Fíli and Kíli did, probably wondering what had happened between when we'd made camp the night before, and we'd left camp smiling, and the present.

"What did we do?" Kíli questioned. "We can't fix whatever we've done unless you tell us what it is that we did."

I turned to look at them, a scowl deep set on my face as I did. "It was _our fault _that the ponies ended up with the Trolls and yet, the two of you thought to send _Bilbo _after them, when it should've been _us_. I'm _upset _because the two of you couldn't pick up the guts to take responsibility for your actions and had to have someone else do it for you. _That_, Master Dwarf, is what you did."

With that, I moved off to the side, starting to help with the search for the cave where the Trolls had to have been staying during the day.

* * *

**A nice long one, yeah? 7,960 words for ya.**

**Some Mickey and Bofur bonding, a bit of Kíli jealousy and some always enjoyable Joey paranoia in the beginning, then we've got the humorous events with the trolls in the middle, and a bit of anger towards the end, oops...**

**I feel like Bofur would be a very enjoyable friend. Same goes for Fíli and Kíli for that matter.**

**Well, Winter Break finally ends tonight, as school starts up again tomorrow. It is 11:00 PM, and I get up at 5:00 AM, so I should probably get along to sleep. Much love to you all(:**

**Review maybe? :)**


	8. In Which Mickey and Joey Get Swords

**Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson own, Becky does not own. If Becky did own, she would not be currently writing this disclaimer in third person, and crying over Aidan Turner's perfection into a tub of Strawberry Surf ice cream. She would, instead, be living _probably _in some glorious home in some glorious place, whilst she rolled in money and then proceeded to bathe in money, before _buying _Aidan Turner. She'd probably also purchase Dean O'Gorman and maybe James Nesbitt simply because he's James Nesbitt and he's worth the money she or anyone else, would spend on him.**

* * *

Chapter Seven:

The hunt for the Troll hoard didn't take very long and soon enough, we'd found it.

And I'd refused to go in. I may not have been the Parson with the overly-sensitive nose but, regardless, I was _not _going to even _attempt _to withstand the smell, and instead opted for venturing quite a ways away to lean against a tree and brood.

Well, I _was_ doing this. And then Joey decided I _wasn't _doing that and, instead, yanked me down there alongside him. 'Twas not an enjoyable experience.

"Eugh, what's that stench?" Came Nori's voice as half the company, Joey and I included, as I stated before, made our way in.

"It's a Troll-hoard." Gandalf replied in a "duh" voice. "Be careful what you touch."

I was holding my breath, really not enjoying the experience at all, until Bofur and I stumbled upon a pile of gold.

We shared a look, before he began nudging it around with his foot. "Seems a shame to just leave it lying around... Anyone could take it."

"Agreed." Gloin stated as he examined some treasure as well.

"Too true, too true." I nodded.

"Nori," Gloin continued, and the dwarf looked up. "Yeah?"

"Get a shovel."

So the small group of us set to work on a, *ahem*, long-term deposit, whilst, meanwhile, Thorin was with Gandalf going on about some swords and Joey was, well...

I don't quite know what Joey was doing.

Nor did I care. I was too busy with the gold, some of which I shoved in my pocket when nobody was looking.

Well, when nobody but Nori was looking. He simply winked upon catching me and did the same.

"You could not wish for a finer blade!"

I jumped at Gandalf's stern statement and looked up to see he and Thorin holding two cobweb covered swords.

I then shrugged and continued to help put the gold and such into the chest and then into the hole Gloin had dug upon Nori giving him a shovel.

The four of us hurriedly began to shove dirt back into the hole. Upon seeing the look Dwalin and Joey gave us, Gloin defended our actions, stating what I'd said before. "We're making a long-term deposit."

"Let's get out of this foul place." Said Thorin. "Come on, let's go." We were still busy pushing dirt back into the hole. Joey grabbed me by the back of my shirt and I swore loudly, whilst Thorin said "Bofur, Gloin, Nori!"

We exited the hoard, whilst Gandalf took his time. Who knows what the old Wizard was up to whilst he was down there. Well, actually, I do, because he approached Joey and I as soon as he'd exited the cave and we were surprised to see that, not only did he hold the sword he'd picked up for himself, but two more cobweb covered swords and, well...

What looked like a letter opener, to be honest.

"Joey, Mickey." He stated as he reached us. "Yeah?" I looked up at the Wizard as the answer came from the two of us at the same time. "You two, as of now, are defenseless and unless you'd like to continue on that way as we know that you," He looked at Joey, although he spoke to both of us. "Cannot continue to utilize Fíli's beloved blades forever." That must've been where Joey'd gotten a weapon from when they'd all come out to save Bilbo, the ponies and myself from the Trolls. "These were alongside the blades that Thorin and I have picked out and I've decided that they will be quite useful to the two of you in the months, years and so forth to come."

I felt a grin split my face as he handed one of the swords to Joey and one to myself. Nevermind the cobwebs and dust that covered it - _I had a sword_.

When it came to weaponry, the sword had always been my specialty. Tanner preferred her fists, whilst Ash was similar to myself and Joey (whom also preferred a sword), and Alicia liked to just not get into fights at all.

Carrie was quite content with a gun, if I'm honest. Although she wasn't terrible with a blade either.

It was really Tanner who just hated utilizing swords. Alicia was quite good at it, although her weapon of choice if she truly had to _use _a weapon in any kind of situation would be a bow and a quiver of arrows or her telekinesis.

Prior to my having powers, I'd actually been given sword lessons by Joey, Carrie and my father whenever my mother and sisters weren't around. Eventually, Tanner'd been brought into the lessons as well, although she loathed them with all her being, whilst I'd loved them and looked forward to them whenever they came around.

I'd managed to outdo all three of my teachers by the time they'd finished training me. Of course, my training extended past the time I'd received my powers, as my parents, unlike most magical parents, were as immortal as my sisters, Joey, Carrie and myself were.

The immortality situation is a story for another time.

Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that I knew how to handle a sword. Even after my parents passed away and Joey and Carrie proceeded to deem me no longer in need of training, I continued on, deciding that I'd like to continue regardless and, even just recently before I'd come to Middle Earth, if you couldn't find me _anywhere, _you could probably find me at some sort of gym or wherever swordsmanship lessons were offered (they're offered in many-a-place, believe it or not - especially in Los Angeles), just so I could practice because _Seraphina _knows that I just truly loved fighting with a sword.

Guns were nice. Guns were efficient.

I liked swords though. There was just something about wielding a blade rather than a small contraption that was nice.

Joey and I thanked Gandalf profusely as we instantly began to brush the cobwebs and the like off of our blades and the scabbards they came with, both of us holding equally excited and amazed looks as we did so. We'd easily managed to clean them off and soon enough they were strapped to our belts and we were unsheathing them.

"Elvish." Joey whispered as we looked them over.

"Well, yeah. You heard them in the cave." I stated, vaugely remembering the conversation that, even though I'd been helping make a long-term deposit, I'd still somewhat registered.

"No, I mean, _Elvish. _Look it's on yours too." I looked at the blade again to see that he was right. On each of our swords, there were inscriptions in Elvish. "Sindarin if I'm not msitaken." Joey muttered as he examined the words on his own sword.

I swore loudly and Joey jumped when I did so, almost dropping his sword.

"Of all the languages!" I whined. "I know everything from Italian to _Arabic, _for crying out loud, and it's in _Elvish!_ I want to know what it says!"

Joey burst into laughter then, whilst some of the nearby members of the company simply stared at me like I was mad.

"Mickey, we're in _Middle Earth_. They don't speak Italian and Arabic and so on. They speak Sindarin and Khuzdul and every other language they have here." He chuckled. "For crying out loud, Mickey, what we're speaking isn't even called _English - _it's called _Westron_."

I had no reply, therefore simply proceeded to make a face and then shove my sword back into the scabbard, crossing my arms and letting out a huff once finished.

He repeated the action, without the face-making and crossing of arms and huffing, of course and then said "Sometimes, Mickey, I find it really hard to believe that you're as old as you are, because you act more like a five year old than a-"

"Zzzzzt!" I clamped a hand over his mouth. "No, no, no!" I shook my head as I wagged my finger and spoke in a sing-song voice. "Nobody must know Mickey's age, Jo-Jo."

He scowled at me, before he proceeded to lick my palm.

Now, normally, I would've jumped back in digust, but instead, I smirked. He said "Why are you smirking?" But it was very muffled and came out like "Mmfmfmmfmm?"

My smirk grew before I spoke. "Because, in case you have forgotten, it's been quite a while since I've been able to properly wash this lovely hands of mine, and, also, I was just in a _Troll-hoard, _assisting Bofur, Gloin and Nori in making a long-term deposit_. In the dirt_."

Joey just about turned green as he shoved my hand away and started spitting all over the ground, trying to rid his mouth of whatever foulness had been on my palm upon his licking it.

I simply laughed and moved over to where Bofur and Nori stood, discussing our long-term deposit, and proceeded to join the conversation.

However, our conversation was interrupted when Thorin shouted "Something's coming!"

"Stay together!" Gandalf instructed as we moved off. "Hurry now! Arm yourselves!"

I grinned at Joey then. We get our swords and five minutes later we get to use them.

_Hell yeah_.

We moved along, stopping when, suddenly, whatever was nearby came into the small clearing we stood in.

"Thieves! Fire! Murder!"

I blinked as what'd been coming was revealed to be, not Orcs or anything we'd have to be fighting, but a slightly not-sane looking man whom, honestly, reminded me of Gandalf and I came to the realization that this was...

"Radagast." Gandalf chuckled slightly, letting us all know who it was. "Radagast the Brown."

We were all staring at Radagast in bewilderment. What the _fuck _had just happened?

Swords were sheathed and weapons were put away as we realized there was no threat at hand.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Gandalf questioned, his voice lowering as Radagast approached him. "I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something's wrong. Something's _terribly _wrong."

"Yes?" Gandalf prompted and Radagast went to reply, before stopping, his face falling when he did so. Suddenly, it seemed to come to him again, before he stopped and, once again, his face fell. "Just give me a minute... _Oh! _I had a thought and now I've lost it! It was right there on the tip of my tongue!"

"A great Wizard?" Joey muttered and I elbowed him in the gut.

"Oh." Radagast said suddenly. "It's not a thought at all... It's a silly old," Suddenly, something was protruding from the Brown Wizard's mouth, and Gandalf reached up to pull the offending object from his mouth. "Stick insect."

"Eeww." I frowned, shaking my head as the though of having a stick bug in my mouth came to mind. The two Wizards proceeded to step aside, out of earshot of the company.

Exempt me. I could hear the whole thing and the face made me grin. However, I was unable to listen as I was suddenly pulled aside by none other than Fíli and Kíli.

"Mickey," Fíli began. "Will you please consider forgiving us for our actions?"

"They were..." Kíli was speaking and his mouth was moving, but I didn't hear what he said as, suddenly, my ears picked up something else.

Radagast and Gandalf's conversation.

"_A Necromancer has come_." Radagast whispered.

A Necromancer.

Ah fuck.

_Nobody _likes a being who can raise the dead.

Especially not me, regardless of what the one I happen to know personally may or may not have done for my family in the past.

"And so, again," Kíli motioned for his brother to repeat the question, pulling me out of my thoughts of the Necromancer who, no matter how many people denied it, basically ruled the Evil half of the Council. Fíli spoke "Please forgive us?"

"We don't like having you upset with us." Kíli tacked on, his expression basically as hopeful as mine had been when I'd asked him if I could name Lennon.

"I'm not upset with you guys." I sighed. "I just... I'm disappointed because I actually expected better of the two of you than to send someone with-"

"Yes, we know, it was stupid and cowardly and we're _extremely sorry_. Mickey, please." Kíli practically begged and Fíli nodded. If I'm honest, I was truly enjoying the hopeful expression across the two Princes' faces as they begged me to forgive them.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to. It's Bilbo for sending him there in the first place."

"Yes, but you followed him." Fíli reminded me. "And then you were almost ripped to pieces."

I blinked, a pained expression crossing my face as I remembered that. It was actually quite a painful experience as they'd already begun to tug ever-so-slightly on my limbs whilst Thorin had been angrily staring at the three Trolls, Bilbo and myself, contemplating surrender.

"Thanks for the memory, Fíli." I nodded slowly, not liking the fact that they'd reminded me of it at all. I absently rolled my right shoulder, before I sighed dramatically. "I _suppose _you're forgiven."

To my great surprise, the two Dwarves suddenly pulled me into a hug, with Kíli hugging me from the front and Fíli hugging me from behind, therefore making a Kíli-Mickey-Fíli sandwich.

I will not lie, for I cannot tell a lie (oh, yes I can, I'm a fantastic liar - I'd put it on my resume but most of that is lies too, so that wouldn't look very good).

I thoroughly enjoyed being squished between the two brothers of Durin. I'll never tell a soul (well shit, I just told you...), but it's the honest truth.

Our bonding moment was quickly ruined when, suddenly, there was a sort of roar/shriek/I-don't-really-know-what-to-call-it in the distance.

We pulled out of our slightly weird hug to look around, Bilbo being the first to speak after it had caught everyone's attention. "Was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?"

"Wolves? No, that is not a wolf." Said Bofur, holding his pickaxe ready. There was a growling and everyone turned with shouts to see a Warg making it's way down the hill behind us.

"Ah fuck." I whispered as it suddenly pounced in the direction of Thorin, who was quick to cut it down. Another appeared quickly and, upon hearing the order from his uncle, Kíli drew his bow and an arrow, shooting it down and allowing Dwalin to deliver the final blow.

"Warg scouts." Thorin managed as he withdrew his new sword from the body of the Warg he'd cut down. "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind."

"_Orc _pack?" Bilbo panicked, but nobody answered him as Gandalf began interrogating our leader. "Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?"

"No one."

"_Who _did you tell?!"

"No one, I swear. What in Durin's name is going on?" Thorin snapped and Gandalf's only reply was "You are being hunted."

I swore, again as this settled in everyone's minds. Dwalin was the first to speak. "We have to get out of here."

"We can't! We have no ponies. They bolted!" Ori informed us all as he and Bifur ran up.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast volunteered. "These are Gundabad Wargs. They will outrun you." Gandalf protested, his tone suggesting that Radagast was an idiot for even considering the idea. "These are Rhosgobel Rabbits." Radagast stated proudly. "I'd like to see them try."

"Ten cuidado." I muttered in Spanish, earning an odd look from Nori as I did, though he didn't press the matter.

(I later explained to Nori that it meant 'be careful' in Spanish. When Ori asked what Spanish was, I proceeded to tell them it was a language from the country Spain and when Kíli questioned where Spain was, I told them it was extremely far away and upon seeing their disatisfied expressions, I quickly pretended to hear Joey calling me and ran over to him.)

After a few more words between the Brown and Grey Wizards, Radagast was off, his Rhosgobel Rabbits dragging him through the woods and out onto the plains ahead, which was where we were headed as we attempted to get away.

Gandalf led the way as we sprinted across the plains, hiding behind some of the numerous random rock formations that sat around as we ran, until Gandalf would give the all clear, and we'd press on. The howls from the Wargs seemed to be everywhere, but I managed to pinpoint a direction thanks to my lovely blessed hearing and realized that, as of then, Radagast was leading them _away _from us.

Of course, not much time passed before Thorin suddenly held an arm out, stopping all of us as we realized that they were currently ahead of us. "Stay together." Gandalf instructed as we began running in the opposite direciton.

Thorin stopped us again, but Ori had continued running, not realizing we'd stopped, causing the would-be-King to yank him back. "Ori, no! Get back!"

We waited for a moment, our backs pressed against the rock formation we were currently hiding behind, before Gandalf instructed for us to move on again.

"Where are you leading us?" Thorin questioned the Wizard as Joey and I passed them. Gandalf gave him no answer as we moved on.

We stopped again after running once more, hiding behind another formation as we realized they were just nearby. Suddenly, my ears picked up on something I didn't like. The growls of a Warg. And they were much too close. I craned my neck and my fears were confirmed when I realized that there was a Warg, an Orc sat atop it, on the very formation we were currently hiding behind.

I held my breath as I flattened myself against the rock, between Kíli and Joey, therefore didn't see the nod Thorin gave his youngest nephew and was confused when he drew an arrow, before suddenly running forward and releasing it, nailing the warg in it's leg and causing it to stumble. He shot again, hitting the Orc, and the two stumbled to the ground right by us.

Bifur, Thorin and Dwalin brought cut down the Orc, whilst the rest of us came to realization that the Warg was already dead and that Kíli's arrow hadn't actually hit it's leg, but ultimately killed it.

I noticed then that the chase behind Radagast had silenced whilst the Orc and Warg were taken down. Then there were howls and I realized that the Orc pack currently running after Radagast, were now running after _us_.

They'd heard us kill the Orc and Warg.

"Move!" Gandalf ordered. "Run!"

And once again, we were sprinted across the land. Where we were making for I couldn't tell you. I just knew we were in deep shit if we didn't _keep running_.

We stopped suddenly as Gloin shouted "There they are!" And we could see the Wargs headed straight towards us. Gandalf ushered us in another direction and we quickly followed.

I could never tell you how long the chase went on for, but it truly felt like _forever_.

We'd stopped again as, suddenly, they were surrounding us. "There's more coming!" I heard Kíli shout and it brought me to the realization that he was a lot furthur away than I'd originally thought.

And I was extremely uncomfortable with the fact. And the fact that I was uncomfortable with that fact, made me even more uncomfortable because I didn't have the slightest idea _why _I would be uncomfortable.

"Kíli! Shoot them!" Thorin ordered.

"We're surrounded!" Came Fíli as Kíli began to shoot those who were closest.

I drew my sword, swinging it around in a single circle as I would when I was trying to intimidate someone. The action had become a habit through my 400+ years of swordsmanship and now, really, that was all it was, as I didn't really care to intimidate people anymore. I already knew I was intimidating.

"Where's Gandalf?!" Dori shouted as we all drew closer together.

"He's abandoned us!" Dwalin answered and I frowned. No he hadn't. Where would he go?

I was close to Ori when he released a stone from his slingshot, nailing a Warg between the eyes. The Orc atop it laughed whilst the Warg growled and I moved closer to the young scribe, giving him the smallest reassuring glance.

"Hold your ground!" I heard Thorin order, and although I did so, the fact that he'd said it didn't exactly register as I was too busy having a scowl-contest with the Warg that was slowly approaching Ori and I.

"This way, you fools!" Suddenly rang out and I turned slightly to see Gandalf had popped up from behind a rock.

We all quickly sprinted for where the Grey Wizard was, as Thorin shouted "Quickly! All of you!"

Thorin cut down any that got too close to the hole, whilst Kíli proceeded to keep shooting, ignoring his uncle's order to run.

An Orc-less Warg was suddenly getting a little to close to the Prince for my tastes and I quickly sprinted in that direction, bringing my sword down on its neck and ultimately cutting it down. My action apparently shocked Kíli as he hadn't seen me or the Warg coming. No words were exchanged, though, as Thorin suddenly shouted "Kíli! Mickey! Run!"

The two of us obeyed the order as I heard Joey shouted "MICKEY GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

We sprinted over to the hole, managing to slide down just after Fíli had. As soon as we were in, Thorin followed and Gandalf counted the four of us in his now-regular counting of the company.

A horn sounded as Joey helped me to my feet and we all looked up at the opening. We listened to the sounds of what seemed to be someone cutting down the Orcs and Wargs that had been on our tails. We were a bit caught by surprise when, suddenly, an Orc fell down the way we had come, landing at our feet. I nudged it with my foot as I saw that it had an arrow in it's chest.

"Dead." I declared with a single nod, more to myself than anyone else. Thorin leaned down, yanking the arrow from the Orc's body and observing the arrowhead. "Elves." He ground out, throwing the arrow down in disgust.

They save our fucking lives and you're disgusted.

This was one of the traits of Thorin Oakenshield I _didn't _admire.

He had great crowd control. _Fantastic _crowd control. I _loved _his crowd control.

_However_, his racial diplomacy needed some work.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads!" Dwalin shouted from ahead. "Do we follow it or no?"

"Follow it, of course!" Said Bofur, moving along to join Dwalin up ahead. Everyone followed suit as Gandalf said "I think that would be wise."

We fell into step in a single file line, following Dwalin's lead as we pushed through the hidden path.

"Thank you." I heard from behind me and I turned slightly to see that it was Kíli and he'd been speaking to me.

"What for?" I raised my eyebrows, momentarily confused.

"The Warg." He stated, his tone suggesting that it should've been obvious what he was talking about.

"Oooh..." I nodded slowly as I realized that was what he'd meant. "No problem. Couldn't let ya die, now, eh?" We pressed on and upon my realizing that it was Joey in front of me (as you can see, I was still trying to tone down from the adrenaline of running from the Orc pack, therefore wasn't paying too much attention to who was around me), I punched him in the back of the arm.

"Ow!" He whined quietly. "What was that for?"

"I should've punched you in the kidney - be glad I didn't." He shuddered at the thought, as my kidney-punches were something to be feared, before he repeated his question. "What was that for, though?"

"For being Joey and yelling at me."

"When did I-"

"Shhh."

"Wha-"

"Shhh."

"Mi-"

"Shhh!"

"No-"

"I'll punch you in the kidney, I swear to God, you know I will."

He was silent and I nodded once. It wasn't long before, ahead, an opening was visible, with a cute little waterful coming down off of the rocks by the opening. Dwalin led us all out onto a rocky platform and _instantly _my breath was taken away.

"Oh my God."

"Wow."

The comments came from Joey and I, respectively. I was too wrapped up in the shock of seeing what I was to realize that Kíli and Fíli were less than pleased with my awe of what we were seeing.

"The Valley of Imladris." Gandalf informed us from behind. "In the common tongue it's known by another name."

It literally came from Joey, Bilbo and I all at the same time. "Rivendell."

I felt excitement bubbling up within me, but it would never overcome the utter _awe _I was experiencing as I gazed upon the Elven realm. "Here lies the Last Homely House East of the Sea." Gandalf continued.

"You know what else lies here?" I stated, looking up at Joey. He raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Food. And a bed. And a bath. And _**food**_."

He grinned. "You had me at food."

"This was your plan all along." Thorin's voice came from behind us and I spun around upon hearing the venom laced through his tone. "To seek refuge with our enemy."

I tried not to.

I really did.

But I ultimately facepalmed.

I then proceeded to make a comment, but before a word could leave my mouth, Joey clamped a hand over it, giving me a warning look.

"You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf stated, frowning at the would-be-King. "The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself."

"You think the _Elves _will give our quest their blessing?" Thorin snapped. "They will try to stop us."

"Of course they will." Gandalf replied as, apparently, he'd already had knowledge of this fact. Although, I'm pretty sure most did. "But we have questions that need to be answered." Thorin looked down, obviously in defeat, and Gandalf continued. "If we are to be successful, this well need to be handled with tact. And respect. And no small degree of charm. Which is why you will leave the talking to me."

With that, Gandalf led the way down towards Imladris and over the bridge that would bring us to the gates of the realm. We came to a circular platform, a staircase in front of us as we reached the middle of the platform. We waited for a bit, everyone looking around, some sharing looks of disgust and annoyance, whilst others, (namely myself and Bilbo) examined the area around us in awe.

"Mithrandir."

We all turned and looked to see an Elf making his way down the stairs. "Ah. Lindir." Gandalf greeted the Elf.

"Stay sharp." I heard Thorin whisper and it didn't pass my notice that Kíli had suddenly stepped in front of me.

Then, of course, there was Elvish.

Lindir began speaking to Gandalf in _Elvish_.

In front of a company of Dwarves (plus a Hobbit, Witch and Guardian Angel, but we weren't half as important as the fact that it was a _company _of _Dwarves_).

"I must speak with Lord Elrond." Gandalf replied in Westron, much to my relief. "My Lord Elrond is not here." Was Lindir's reply. "Not here?" The Wizard was probably frowning, although I couldn't see his face so I couldn't tell you for sure. "Where is he?"

Suddenly, a familiar horn sounded and we all turned to see Elves on horseback making their way down the stone bridge behind us. Thorin began shouting in Khuzdul, before shouting "Close ranks!" In Westron.

Before I knew what was happening, I'd been shoved, alongside Bilbo, to the center of the circle as the Dwarves all formed said circle and the Elves made their way in.

"Oh my _God_." I groaned as I realized I was being forced into the middle for _protection_ and that they were going on the _defensive._

The Elves circled us, almost in a threatening manner, and I facepalmed again.

Every person on that platform exempt myself and probably Gandalf and Joey, was being an idiot.

I went to shove my way out of the circle, but Kíli pushed me behind him. I went another way, and Fíli did the same.

"Seraphina fucking bless it get out of my way I'm not standing in this circle." I growled, shoving past Bifur and Bombur and exiting the circle to stand slightly in front of Dori who's face spelled out his disapproval of my actions.

"Gandalf." Lord Elrond greeted and I blinked as I realized something.

Having Hugo Weaving casted as Lord Elrond for the movies was _spot on_.

Props PJ.

Props to you.

"Lord Elrond." Gandalf moved forward and greeted him in Sindarin, before continuing to carry on conversation in the language. Elrond replied in Sindarin, sliding off of his horse as he did and then moving forward to embrace the Grey Wizard. "Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders." He continued in Westron, holding up the weapon that clearly once belonged to an Orc as he spoke. He handed it to Lindir as he continued. "Something or some_one_ has drawn them near."

His tone wasn't accusing. It was... Curious, almost.

"Mickey!" I heard someone his and recognized it to be Kíli. "Get back here!"

I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowing, before I refused, turning to focus on the conversation between the Elvish leader and Grey Wizard. "Ah, that may have been us." Gandalf replied. Thorin stepped forward then, surpassing where I stood to approach Lord Elrond.

"Welcome, Thorin, son of Thrain." Lord Elrond greeted him.

"I do not believe we have met." Was Thorin's response, posing the unspoken question of how the Elf knew who he was.

"You have your grandfather's bearing." Elrond answered. "I knew Thror when he ruled Under the Mountain."

"Indeed? He made no mention of you."

Guess who facepalmed again.

_Racial diplomacy._

It was then that Elrond spoke in Sindarin again and, as soon as I'd straightened from my previous facepalm, I repeated the action. The company was probably starting to think I had a headache.

"What is he saying?" Gloin growled. "Does he offer us insult?!"

"Seraphina fucking bless it." I groaned, although my comment was ignored as Gandalf answered the Dwarf's question. "No, Master Gloin, he's offering you _food_."

The Dwarves all turned to consult each other. When Fíli went to drag me into the circle of consultation, I stepped out of his reach, not going to deal with the absurdness of the situation.

Why _wouldn't _we take their food?

Because they're _Elves_?

Oh, right.

The utter racism that hung in the air was so thick it was like that kind of tension you can cut with knives.

"Well, in that case, lead on." Gloin nodded once as everyone turned back to look at Lord Elrond and Gandalf once more.

Lord Elrond said something else in Sindarin, this time looking at me and I blinked. "Sorry, uh, yo no hablo Sindarin." I replied, feeling somewhat nervous under the Elf's scrutinizing gaze.

To my surprise, he _smiled_, as Gandalf translated "He would like to know if you would appreciate the opportunity to clean up prior to eating."

I felt my face light up and I jumped at the opportunity. "Oh my God, _yes please!_"

A female Elf, who had approached as Elrond had made the offer, smiled and motioned for me to follow her. "Follow me." She stated in a soft, musical voice.

I felt someone grab my wrist and looked up at Joey. "Yes?"

"What're you doing?" He asked.

I stared at him. "I'm going to go take a bath, because this is the most disgusting I've been since my _initiation. _Later, bitches." I smirked before I went to follow the Elf into the halls of Imladris.

"I am Lessien." She informed me as we walked.

"S'a pleasure, Lessien." I smiled. "I'm Mickey."

"Same to you, Miss Mickey." She was silent for a moment, before she spoke again "I hope I don't come off as rude, but if I may ask, what are you? You are neither Dwarf, nor Hobbit. You hold the elegance of one of my own kind," (How the Hell am I elegant? _Just take the compliment!_) "However your height and, well, the company you keep suggest otherwise."

I nodded slowly as she spoke and once she was finished, I replied. "I'm just a short human." I informed her. "Nothing overly special."

Half a lie. I truly was a short human, however I guess you could say I _was _special, as, not only was I a short human, but I was also an immortal Witch.

But nobody needs to know that, unless they need to know it.

Which Lessien obviously didn't.

"I see." She nodded once and we were silent for the rest of the walk. We soon came upon a door and she spoke again. "This will be your quarters during your stay here in Rivendell." She informed me and I smiled. "Thank you, very much, Lessien."

She opened the door and led me inside and, once again, my breath was taken away. It was more than likely not the most grand of the rooms there in Rivendell, as it was only a guest room, but it was, nonetheless a _fantastic _room.

"The washroom is through there. If you'd like to set your things down and settle in for a moment, I can draw your bath." Lessien explained and I smiled. "Thank you, Lessien, but I think I can manage. I appreciate it, though and, although this is actually the billionth time I've said it, _thank you_."

She smiled again. "You're quite welcome, Miss Mickey."

"Just Mickey." I stated. "I'm not one for the 'Miss' or 'Lady' or anything like that. Makes me sound old."

Lessien laughed, before she bid me goodbye, stating either she or someone else would be by in a while to supply me with clothing, take my dirty ones and then escort me to where everyone would be dining.

I thanked her again, because I was truly grateful, and then she exited.

I stripped down, tossing my dirty clothes onto my bed and setting my sword down beside them.

The first time I'd been naked since I had changed into the Hobbit clothes at Bilbo's.

The liberation was utterly beautiful.

I strutted into the washroom, absolutely loving my liberation of clothing (ask all of my friends and they'll tell you "Oh yeah, Mickey loves being naked." Because it's the honest to God truth, I really do. It might be weird but, hey! I don't care!), and sighed contentedly when I saw the bathtub, toilet and sink.

Yes, yes, I could get used to being in Rivendell. I drew the bath, humming what I _think _was an Ed Sheeran song as I did, although I could never tell you which one it was, finding some bubble bath as I did (IMAGINE MY JOY AT THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE FACT THAT THERE WAS _**BUBBLE BATH **_IN MIDDLE EARTH), and proceeded to add it to the water.

Making sure the door was shut, I settled into the bathtub and, well...

Bathed.

And it was wonderous.

* * *

**Did you enjoy my comical disclaimer? I thought it was quite comical.**

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed you 5,910 word chapter, as it was quite the enjoyable chapter to write if I'm honest. I'm quite satisfied with it. Mickey and Joey have swords now!**

**AND NOW THEY'RE ALL IN RIVENDELL!**

**I am aware that in the first chapter, I spelled Imladris as Imaldris. I apologize for this. I've always known that Imladris is the spelling, but for some reason, I have this weird reflex to type it Imaldris. Kind of like I always forget the second a in Radagast, therefore I have to backspace and fix it _every time I type is name_.**

**I won't make this note extremely long. Mainly because it's 1:30 AM and I'm tired. Thank you, everyone, for your feedback, and I hope to continue receiving it from you as time goes on! You're all beautiful :3**

**Now you must excuse me. My friend is spamming me with lyrics from The Wanted songs, and I need to get her to stop so I can sleep.**

**MUCH LOVE!**

**Maybe I can get some more reviews, yeah? :)**


	9. In Which Mickey Makes a Friend

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tolkien's stuff, bro. Or PJ's.**

* * *

Chapter Eight:

With a heavy sigh, I examined myself in the mirror.

After _weeks _of being covered in dirt, grime and ick from all the traveling, I'd finally managed to cleanse myself of it all, included the nasty smell I'd been carrying around from when we'd been caught by the Trolls.

I don't know how Fíli and Kíli hugged me after that, or how anyone could've been _around _me.

Because it was _nasty_.

I looked at the door as I ran my fingers through my now completely straight and dry hair (I swear these Elves have some magical shampoo because my hair looked like professionals had worked it - it was perfectly straight and everything - I couldn't remember the last time it'd looked that good). Lessien hadn't returned, nor had anyone else as she _had _said that the person who escorted me to where all the Dwarves would be dining might not end up being her.

But time had passed.

And I was still alone.

With another heavy sigh, I examined myself and the dark purple Elvish dress I wore in the mirror once more (it was so _soft_), before I turned and put on the slippers that had been brought for me as well.

When she'd left my dress while I was bathing, Lessien had left a note saying that Gandalf requested I brought my sword to dinner as well, so that we could see if Lord Elrond could identify it, so I grabbed that on my way out and strapped it around my waist as I walked.

I am a _strong, independent Mickey._

I can find my own damn way around anywhere.

So that was what I did. I decided to make my way through the many halls of Imladris and attempt to find where everyone was dining. The Dwarves were loud. No doubt I'd hear them from a far distance, even without my blessed hearing.

Resting my left hand on the hilt of my sword, I let my right hang by my side and I made my way down the hall.

Time passed.

More time passed.

_More _time passed.

And I finally fessed up to the fact that I was lost.

"Fuck." I groaned, leaning against the wall behind me and running my hand over my face.

_Lost_.

_**Wonderous**_**.**

"Milady?"

I squeaked and looked up to see an Elf-

No, he wasn't an Elf. He was human. He was about a foot taller than me, which everyone was, _at least, _because I was, remember, the height of a Dwarf, and _Seraphina bless it-_

He was _hot_.

Don't you dare look at me like that. I'm a young woman. I have _needs_.

"Are you alright?" He continued as I stared at him in slight scrutiny, slight shock and slight confusion. Scrutiny because, well, I swear I'd seen his face before. Shock because I was shocked I'd finally run into someone who could possibly guide me to where everyone was. Then there was the confusion because I didn't know why there was a human in Imladris.

"I- Yeah- Yes. I am. I'm just... Well... Lost." I laughed sheepishly. "I came with the company of Dwarves that just arrived and the person who was supposed to escort me never showed up to escort me to dinner so I decided to try and find it on my own because, ya know, Dwarves are loud, and I'd figured I'd be able to find them, but I'm not having much luck and, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I'm rambling." I gave another sheepish laugh and he smiled. "Would you like an escort, miss...?" He trailed off for a moment, prompting me to give him my name.

"Oh, ah, Mickey. _Just _Mickey, not miss or anything like that. And yes, I would." I smiled back and took the arm he extended. "Can I ask my savior's name?"

"Savior?" He quirked an eyebrow with an amused smile as we began to walk and I answered. "I've been wandering for forever." He chuckled as he received the answer, before he replied to my previous question. "I am Estel."

"Well it's very nice to meet you, Estel." I smiled and he chuckled again. "The same to you, Mickey."

Estel...

Where the fuck had I heard that before?

_Damnit_.

This was going to kill me.

-Third Person POV-

Kíli sighed, looking towards the entrance for the fiftieth time. _Where was she?_

"Alright, lad?" Bofur questioned with an amused chuckle at seeing the slightly panicked expression on Kíli's face.

"Wha- Oh, yes. Fine. 'Course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Why would you think I'm not?"

"Oh, I don't know." Bofur smirked as he spoke. "_Maybe, _and it's _only _a suggestion, but _maybe _because you keep looking over at the entrance over there, tappin' your fingers there on the table, and muttering '_Where is she? Where is she?_'"

Bifur was busy digging through his pile of leaves, looking for the meat, Dwalin was doing the same, and Oin was going "Eh?" So not many were paying attention to Bofur's making fun of the Prince. Nori had been, however, and was laughing at the sheepish expression crossing the young Dwarf's face. (the others were all seated at the other table.)

Before anyone could let Oin know what Bofur had said, Kili was saved by the sound of Mickey's laughter as several looked up to see her making her way in.

The dark haired Prince was momentarily stunned by what he saw. He was slightly scared to see what she'd look like if she was dressed in _Dwarven _attire rather than _Elvish, _because in the _Elvish _dress, she was breathtaking. Her hair was perfectly straight, falling down to her mid back, part of it pushed behind her right ear, a pretty pink flower, that accented her dark purple dress, was currently being pushed in behind her ear as well, to asist in keeping the hair behind it.

To Kili's anger, it wasn't Mickey herself who'd been pushing the flower behind her ear. It was an _Elf-_

No, not an Elf. He was human. Not that it mattered as much because there was _someone _that wasn't _him _touching _his Mickey-_

Woah, woah, woah.

_His _Mickey?

When had Mickey become his?

Kili blinked rapidly as he tried to clear his head of the thought of the beautiful woman who was currently stood in the entrance and bidding the man goodbye, being _his_.

If Mickey was _his_...

Kili shook his head slightly as Bofur pulled him out of his thoughts and clapped him on the back. "Well there she is!" He laughed.

The Prince watched the man take his leave, attempting to burn holes, in his back, with his gaze, as he did. No one was allowed to touch _his _Mickey. He blinked again and scolded himself. Mickey _wasn't _his.

But she _could _be...

-Mickey POV-

I'd bid Estel goodbye as Bofur waved me over to take the seat at the head of the small table where he was seated with Oin, Dwalin, Nori, Bifur and Kili. I smiled and made my way over, nudging Joey who was seated with the remaining Dwarves at the other table as I did. "Hey Mick." He greeted before continuing his conversation with Fili about how there should be more meat.

I took the seat between Bofur and Oin, smiling at the six before me as I did. "Hello. Sorry I'm late. Got lost."

"'Course you did." Bofur smirked and I made a face at him. "Kili here was starting to panic, ya know.

I raised my eyebrows and looked over at the Prince who cleared his throat. "Just thinking about your safety. With all these Elves, it's just..." He trailed off, not finishing what was more than likely a racist comment.

"Well thank you for worrying. That was very sweet of you. But I'm fine. I don't think any of them planned on bothering me, by the way."

"Well, yes, of course but-"

"Stop before you dig yourself into a hole, Kili."

"I- What?"

"S'an expression."

"Oh."

With an amused smile, I turned to the food that was set before me, watching as Dwalin continued to have a mini heart attack over the fact that there was no meat.

I took a sip of the Elvish wine, my amused smile never leaving as I heard Ori question "Have they got any chips?"

I looked up as I ate to see that Gandalf, Elrond and Thorin were making their way in, then, so I wasn't _overly _late. Turning back to my food, I noticed that Bofur had a confused expression and when I went to question it, I was answered before I could as I watched him follow Kili's gaze, before doing the same to see that the Prince had been looking at the Elf maid across the room, playing the harp.

Feeling jealousy suddenly spike within me, I turned back to my food once more, and took a vicious stab at my salad. It was pretty good. Could've used a nice red wine vinaigrette, though.

I glanced up to see that, upon noticing the unimpressed look Dwalin was giving him, Kili turned his flirty gaze away from the Elvish maiden across the room, and then quickly covered his tracks. "Can't say I fancy Elf maids, myself. Too thin." Dwalin raised his eyebrows, while I quickly covered a snort with a cough (quite the feat - takes some practice so you don't hurt yourself when you do it, but, let's remember, I was 427 at the time, so I'd had practice over the years).

"They're all high cheekbones and creamy skin. Not enough facial hair for me." Bofur nodded in agreement to the Prince's statement, while I rolled my eyes.

Although, subconciously, I may or may not have been self-conciously panicking at the fact that he might not've found me as attractive as other Dwarven maids...

But that's none of your business.

"Although... That one's there's not bad."

I looked up to the way Kili was talking about and my eyebrows shot up as I shared a look with Dwalin, before speaking. I rested my chin in my hand and propped my elbow on the table, obtaining a slightly dreamy expression as I did, _just _to play up the whole thing.

"You know, you're right, Kili. He isn't that bad at all."

Kili's expression dropped as Dwalin sent a wink towards the younger Dwarf at my statement. All of the Dwarves began laughing, having heard the conversation, at Kili's expense.

"S'funny." Kili muttered, not liking how his attempt at a cover up had turned out.

Everyone turned back to their food and previous conversations again, and I watched, an eyebrow quirked in amusement, as Oin stuffed a napkin in his hearing trumpet whilst an Elf maid played the flute behind him.

My attention was suddenly captured by Elrond, who was seated at a different table, somewhat higher than ours, with Gandalf and Thorin. "This is Orcrist." He identified Thorin's blade. "The Goblin-Cleaver. A famous blade. Forged by the High Elves of the West - my kin. May it serve you well." He handed it back to Thorin, before moving to identify Gandalf's sword. "And _this _is Glamdring - the Foehammer. The sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were made for the Goblin wars of the First Age. You said there were others?"

"Ah, yes. Joey, Mickey!" Gandalf summoned us and just about everyone's attention was caught as we both stood and made our ways over to where they were. "Yes?" Joey questioned when we reached them.

"Would you like to see if Lord Elrond could identify your swords?"

The two of us shared an excited look, before nodding gratefully and pulling them off of our belts. Joey went first, handing the sword to Lord Elrond.

We both watched as his eyebrows shot up. "What? What is it? My sword wasn't used by some Dark Lord, was it? _Oh great_." Joey panicked. Lord Elrond cut off his panicking saying "No, not at all. On the contrary, Joey. This is Ankril."

Gandalf's eyebrows shot into the air, and he muttered "The brother of Narsil..."

"_Narsil?!_" Joey half-shrieked as my jaw dropped.

The blade that cut the Ring from the hand of Sauron.

_Joey's _sword was the _brother _of the _blade _that cut the _Ring _from the hand of _Sauron_.

"_What?_" I stared at my best friend.

"Correct." Lord Elrond nodded once. "It is the sword of Anárion, son of Elendil and younger brother of Isildur. It was believed that Ankril was lost in the Seige of Barad-dûr as Anárion lost his life. However, now, it does not appear that is so. May it serve you well." He handed Ankril back to Joey, who stared at it in wonder. "Uh, what does the, uh, inscription say?" He questioned.

"In the common tongue, it reads 'May the Valar protect your every step'." Lord Elrond translated. Joey looked a bit crestfallen that it didn't have some awesome inscription about the meaning of life or anything like that, but thanked him nonetheless.

I was pumped as I handed Lord Elrond my sword. If Joey had the _brother sword _of _Narsil, _what would _I_ have? Gandalf, Thorin and Joey had all had _awesome _swords that had accomplished _great things _and been utilized by _great people_.

Therefore I was _pumped _to find out who mind had belonged to/what it had done.

"It would appear... That this particular sword... Has yet to have seen battle."

I blinked, feeling my hopes crash. Joey snorted slightly, though he managed to cover it up with a cough (remember, we've had years to practice this kind of thing). My sword had yet to see battle?

So Gandalf gets Glamdring - the Foehammer. Thorin gets Orcrist - the Goblin-Cleaver. Joey gets Ankril - the brother of Narsil.

And then _I _get a _nameless sword_.

"My sword hasn't seen battle?" I repeated, staring in confusion at the blade as Lord Elrond examined the inscription in Sindarin. "I'm afraid so." He confirmed. "Would you like the translation?" He questioned and I nodded, containing the outburst of my fallen hopes. "It reads 'Fate will only take you so far. It is then up to you to take control.'" He smiled kindly as he sheathed my sword and handed it back to me, repeating his previous statement of "May it serve you well."

Joey and I thanked him, before we headed back to our seats, and Lord Elrond turned to Gandalf, questioning him as to how we came by our four swords (more Thorin's, Joey's and his, rather than mine, obviously).

Joey walked with a new spring in his step as he took in just who's sword he would wield. Meanwhile, I was grumbling the whole way, flopping down in my chair and taking out my frustrations on the salad before me.

"Alright, lass?" Bofur raised an eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I mumbled, taking another stab at my salad. I envisioned the leaves as Joey.

It wasn't _fair!_

"Because you're stabbing that leaf like it's trying to kill you." Kili replied, seeming to have recovered from being embarassed earlier.

"_Envy is a sin_."

It was just a whisper. None of the Dwarves would have heard it. It was possible the Elves might not have even heard it.

I spun around in my seat to see Joey smirking, although he didn't look up from his food while Balin asked him questions about what Lord Elrond had said about Ankril.

"_So is murder_." I mouthed and Joey simply winked before turning back to Balin. I turned around again and continued to grumble to myself, taking another stab at my salad.

"Best not bother the lass." Bofur muttered to Kili, who seemed to silently agree and I was thankful for that.

I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was too busy hating Joey.

My attention was pulled away from viciously stabbing my salad as I listened to Lord Elrond and Gandalf talk. Thorin had decided to leave, as he blatantly didn't trust the Elves and didn't feel like discussing what we'd been doing on the Great East Road.

"Thirteen Dwarves, a Halfling, and two magical beings from another dimension." My head shot up so fast I got whiplash, but I couldn't care less as I paid attention to what Lord Elrond said. _He knew?_

"Strange traveling companions, Gandalf." Lord Elrond continued.

I was thankful when Gandalf avoided the topics of myself, Joey and Bilbo altogether. Although, them discussing Bilbo wasn't a total problem, it was more of _me and Joey _that was.

How the Hell did he know? Did Gandalf tell him?

"These are the descendants of the House of Durin." Gandalf defended. "They're noble, decent folk."

It was then that I noticed, at that _precise moment_, Nori glancing around before taking the salt shaker he'd been using and shoving it in his coat.

Oh the irony of Gandalf's statement.

The Wizard continued, although I'm sure he was the only other who saw Nori's actions. "They're surprisingly cultured and they've got a deep love of the arts."

Nori turned to the harp player behind him. "Change the tune, why don't you? I feel like I'm at a funeral."

I managed to contain my laughter at his statement, although it became a bit more difficult as Oin happened to mishear him and say "Did somebody die?!"

"Alright, lads," Bofur stepped in. "And lass," He nodded in my direction. "There's only one thing for it."

I watched with a raised eyebrow as the Dwarf stood and made his way to the pedestal that sat behind me. I swiveled around in my seat so I could see what he was doing. I raised my eyebrows as he stood atop it, before he began _singing_.

"_There's an inn, there's an inn, _  
_There's a merry old inn,_  
_Beneath an old gray hill._  
_And there they brew a beer so brown,_  
_The man in the moon himself came down_  
_One night to drink his fill."_

The Dwarves around us had joined in, as the Elves had instantly halted in their music playing actions. Food was being thrown and I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up as I clapped and just _enjoyed_.

_"The ostler has a tipsy cat_  
_that plays a five-stringed fiddle;_  
_And up and down he runs his bow,_  
_Now squeaking high, now purring low,_  
_Now sawing in the middle."_

It was _fantastic_.

-Third Person POV-

As Kili joined the company in tossing food around and singing along as Bofur led the song, he couldn't help the way his already broad smile grew as he spotted Mickey, laughing so hard she was red in the face, and clapping as she enjoyed the song.

_"So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,_  
_a jig that would wake the dead:_  
_He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,_  
_While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:_  
_'It's after three!' he said."_

Bofur had skipped most of the song as he finished up, bowing as the food fights continued and the Dwarves began to _really _enjoy the feast provided for them by the Elves. Mickey continued to laugh and Kili enjoyed that she did. Maybe he had nothing to fear after all. Initially, upon arriving in Rivendell, he'd been terrified of how fascinated Mickey had seemed with the place. He was terrified of the idea of her staying with them. With the _Elves_.

She _couldn't _like them better. If Mickey liked the Elves better...

Kili shook the thought away and focused on enjoying what Bofur had started. All the while keeping an eye on Mickey, who could do nothing more than laugh at what went on around her and that was what gave him reassurance, which was _precisely _what he needed.

* * *

**'Tis a birthday gift from me to you, for my birthday. Which is today. I am now sixteen! *REJOICES***

**Sorry it's so short! I planned on it being a lot longer, but I figured that'd be a good place to end it. I'm pretty sure I'll have another one up soon. I plan on having them spend some time in Rivendell. Maybe one of those Midsummers Eve Ball things... ;D**

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOH MICKEY MADE A FRIEND! **

**Named Estel.**

**Now _where _have we heard _that name _before? ;)**

**And Joey has a kickass sword while Mickey _doesn't! B__ut, _I think Mickey's has a significantly more meaningful inscription than Joey's. Literally, I was rolling around for an hour as I tried to think of something to put on Ankril that'd make sense. Pronounced Ahn-Kreel, by the way.**

**I have to apologize again, this time for the POV switches. I really like showing what Kili's thinking about Mickey. I think there's gonna be another Joey POV sometime soon, but no promises.**

**I'll be off now. **

**I love you all!**

**Review please?**


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